We are not alone

I have had a few e-mails of people telling me that they are also struggling with food addiction. This is really a very common thing that many women (& men) are just too embarrassed to talk about. It is difficult to talk about. In a way it's a little humiliating confessing to any addiction. To publicly confess that something has control and power over us makes us feel weak and vulnerable. You know? But there is power in talking about our struggles. And when we feel weak, it gives God the opportunity to be strong in our lives and it also gives us the opportunity to glean from other peoples' experiences.

I know that I am going to have complete freedom over this - I just know it. I also know that I won't be perfect - that I will probably stumble along the way. But that is okay. My mind is being renewed and I can feel God transforming it. I don't want to ever forget what God is doing right now.

My desire is for you to get freedom in this area as well. If you aren't ready to talk about your struggle with food, that is okay. But for those of you who would like to share but would rather people not know who you are, there is always the option to comment anonymously.

Love,
Tracy

Cleansing my thoughts

Phillipians 4:4 states
...Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent of praiseworthy - think about such things...and the God of peace will be with you.

If we consider the brain a computer, each of us has been inputting data and setting up programs since childhood. Every kind word, criticism, smile, and insult is data. A lot of that data was false. Through all of these years of corrupted data, we may have come to believe that we are fat, ugly, stupid, weak and useless. Those beliefs have predetermined our actions and have powerfully affected our thinking.

Although I have come a long way, the battle in my mind is still an area of struggle. But I am on my way to freedom :o) I am so aware of my thoughts now. Throughout my day I fill my imagination with uplifting and good thoughts and I try to thank God as often as I can.

Just a few days ago this thought came to me as clear as a bell, "you are worthless." The thought came from out of nowhere. Right away I said outloud, "I AM worth something!" I am doing this with everything. Like when I feel overwhelmed while I am taking care of the daycare, I just begin to tell the children how much I love them and how I love spending my days with them, how thankful I am to be home, how happy I am. When I am eating food that I know is good for me, I see it nourishing my body and filling me with life. When I catch a reflection of myself or glance down at the spare tire around my waist, and those "fat and ugly" thoughts come in, I refuse to entertain such lies! I tell myself that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and I love how God made me.

Doing this alone has been helping me tremendously and it has only been a few days. I know that God is renewing my mind. And I know that the more that I think good thoughts, the better I will feel and self-discipline with come naturally.

My war with food

I can honestly say that one of my greatest desires is to feel and be super healthy. Health is a huge passion of mine. So how is it possible that I eat so badly sometimes - so opposite of what I desire. Not many people know this, but I am a food addict. It's not an easy thing to admit, but it's the truth. The more that I try to not think about food, the more obsessed that I become. But I'm on a journey; I am on my way to freedom and this is the beginning - right here, right now.

In the past I have abstained from chocolate, sweets, plus all the things that I shouldn't be eating on a Candida diet, for weeks at a time. I would eat one cookie, and then relapse with a full fledged binge. No amount of sugar was safe for me. I hated myself for being so weak, but the cycle went on. I needed discipline. I have gone on numerous, lengthy juice fasts over the years. Most of the time I would fast after a lengthy binge where I had gained weight. I could not stand myself anymore, so I would fast. After my fast was over, I would eventually blow it and destroy all the benefits of the fast. Fasting had become like a drug to me - fasting was increasing my compulsiveness. I loved the freedom that I felt during a long fast, the feeling of being in total control. Victory tasted sweet, but it never lasted. Each time telling myself that this time I would practice self-control after breaking my fast.

It is my heart's desire to eat nutritiously and to be healthy. I gradually see the scale going up yet the binge goes on. I know that these foods are harmful and killing my immune system, yet even the fact that I am jeopardizing my health, is still not enough to stop me. What compels me to raid the refrigerator when I am not even hungry? Or eat four granola bars in a row? If we honestly evaluate our decisions and actions, we will face the sobering realization that our emotions are in the driver's seat. Feelings compel us to act. When they become uncontrollable, they are defined as compulsive, obsessive or addictive behaviour.

Here Are Some Signs of Compulsive Eating:

• Thinking about food a lot.
• Eating to relieve worry or stress.
• Continuing to eat even after feeling sick from eating too much.
• Becoming anxious while eating.
• Daydreaming or worrying while eating.
• Overeating.
• Eating too fast.
• Eating everything on the plate.
• Feeling guilty when you eat.
• Eating in secret.
• Unable to eat one cookie or any treats that you really like.
• Binging after a diet.
• Hunger makes you feel fearful and uncomfortable.

I answered YES to every single one of these.

Tomorrow I am going to talk about our distorted thinking and our negative emotions.

Back from my blog fast

It's been a while hasn't it! Judging from all of the comments that I've received, it's safe to say that you are interested in hearing about my computer fast.

One anonymous reader wrote this:

I'd love to hear about your week of fasting. What did you do with the extra time not blogging? Did fasting meet your expectations? Did you recieve any insights from God? I love your honesty in your January 28th blog. I can't speak for your other readers but this reader would love to hear all about it.

I spent a lot of time in the Word, cooking more, spending more time with my husband and kids, sleeping more, etc. Aerie really noticed the difference. Usually when he got home from work every day, I would sneak downstairs and get 30 minutes or so on the computer thinking he didn't notice I was gone or whatever.

The first couple of days were harder. I was so used to running up and down the stairs all throughout my days just to check my e-mail for two minutes. It's not that I would spend a tremendous amount of time on the computer, it's more that I was beginning to feel obssessed with checking it - I was thinking about it way too much. So, fasting my computer time definitely brought some balance back into my life. As we all know, too much of one thing is not good. I desperately needed to rebalance my priorities. I did miss the computer a lot. Because I don't talk on the phone much, I keep in touch with many of my friends through e-mail. That was very hard. I felt a little isolated from that part of my life during that week. Sometimes I felt like I was missing out, but I knew it was only for a season so I pushed through.

Did fasting meet my expectations? Well, the three major reasons why I went on this fast were to... 1) Balance my priorities 2) Food Addiction and binging 3) Anger. This fast definitely started something, but it's a work in progress. Throughout my fast I had been dwelling on scriptures about love. I have been searching myself and praying for God's guidance and clarity in these areas of my life. I am learning where my anger is rooted and where it comes from, but like I said - it's a work in progress. I am really excited because I know that what I am going through is going to bring about complete freedom. The battle is in my mind - my thoughts.

Our Valentine's Day date

We had been antipipating this evening for days. Ethan had a sore tummy before we left and was still sick with an awful cold, but he still wanted to go. So we did. As soon as we were seated, we exchanged gifts. This kept us pleasantly occupied until our food arrived.
Ethan and Titus couldn't wait to get some Bugs 'n Cheese at Boston Pizza; Ty was especially excited! When the meal finally arrived - Ty thought it was just the most amazing thing! He dug right in and didn't come up for air for quite a while :)


I had the most amazing time with my family. I love spending time with them. they are the best!

Happy Valentine's Day!

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE...

What do you LOVE to do on Valentine's Day?

Shout out!

A special hello to these beautiful women: Ranelle S, Christine H, Sarah Mac...
What do these 3 women have in common one might ask? Well, all three read my blog...and all 3 DO NOT comment!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He-he-he! I dare you to comment! I double dare you to comment! Am I putting you on the spot? Who else can I add to this list?

:o)

Love you guys

7 days

I wanted to let you all know that I will be taking a break from my blog and e-mail for a week.

I love my e-mail and blogging so much that I almost feel like it's consuming me. I just need to take it out of my life for a little while and get some perspective on things.

I don't think there is anything wrong with spending time on the computer. In fact, I have built so many friendships through e-mail and I am so grateful for that. Lately though, I feel like certain areas of my life are falling to the wayside. Often I choose to sit at the computer when I know that I should be doing so many other things like; spending time with my children and husband, spending time in the word, getting to bed at a descent hour, starting supper earlier, exercising...and the list goes on. My life is out of balance and I don't like it.

I've decided to abstain from e-mail and blogging all day, but allow myself about 30 minutes to verify my e-mail every evening. I will not be blogging, reading blogs or commenting on blogs during this time.

During this time of fasting, I also want to concentrate on the many areas in my life that need healing.

1) My struggle with food and binging

2) Anger.
I so desperately need God's love to infiltrate every area of my life. I take life a little too seriously sometimes, but...it's more than that. I want to love. I want to be loving and kind. Loving my children is so easy. Loving my husband is easy too, but I sometimes take my anger or frustrations out on him. Loving my daycare kids as I love my own children is a challenge. It's very hard. I'm not sure how or when this has happened but I feel as though my heart has hardened and it's just been more difficult to love lately. I want to love but, I don't know, I get moody and irritable -- often. I want a soft heart. I need more of God's love to work through all of me, and for this, I need to spend time with God. And ultimately I cannot do that if I am always on the computer.

So this is a good thing. I will miss my e-mail, blogging, responding to & reading all of your blogs and comments MORE than you can possibly know.

I'll be back on February 5th!

Love,
Tracy
. . .

1 Corinthians 13

LOVE

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

I'm it!

Lori recently tagged me on this little questionaire. Yeah Lori, that was very nice link love!
. . .

1. What’s the most fun work you’ve ever done, and why? (Two sentences max)

O.k. I have to say that it's what I did a few weeks ago. I (along with a friend) decorated the church for our Women's Night. It was time consuming, and I was a little nervous the entire day, but it was SO much fun! I love decorating!!!

2. Name one thing you did in the past that you no longer do but wish you did? (One sentence max)

Read novels and actual books - big, romantic, interesting ones that make me cry!!!!

3. Name one thing you’ve always wanted to do but keep putting it off? (One sentence max)

Organize all of my photos into a scrapbook.

4. What two things would you most like to learn or be better at, and why? (Two sentences max)

1)I would love to learn more about Holistic Health/Natural Medicine. The more that I learn, the more that I realize that there is SO much more to learn!

2)I wish I were better at teaching and expressing myself.

5. If you could take a class/workshop/apprentice from anyone in the world living or dead, who would it, be and what would you hope to learn? (Two more sentences, max)

I'm kind of rushing now, so I don't have time to look this all up.

1) I would love to sit down with Dr. Dobson from Focus on The family and just ask TONS of questions and learn as much as I can about raising BOYS!!!!!!!!

2)My dream is to return to school and become a Holistic Health Practitioner or a Nutritionist.

6. What three words might your best friends or family use to describe you?

Mischevious, Funny, Thoughtful

7. Now list two more words you wish they described you as…

Well spoken and Spontaneous

8. What are your top three passions? (can be current or past, work, hobbies, or causes– three sentences max)

1)Family & Friends. Just keeping close with the people that I love - whether that be through e-mail, get togethers, cards, phone...I just care so much about my family and friends and I always want to make sure that I make time for the people that I love.

2)Health and Nutrition. I am so passionate about learning as much as I possibly can absorb. I just love it all - ah!

3) Making cards: I love encouraging and loving people through cards.

9. Write–and answer–one more question that YOU would ask someone (with answer in three sentences max)

I don't know. Sorry! (Aerie is waiting to use the computer)

Tip

I felt and saw a cold sore just starting on my lip last night. It was at the stage where you can feel it and it's a little tingly. So right away I cut open a Vitamin E capsule and put some on my lips repeatedly through the evening and then finally went to sleep like that. I woke up this morning and it's GONE! I get cold sores every once in a while & Vitamin E always works for me (especially when you catch it right at the begining stages).

Just thought I would share my little Herpes tip with you all, he-he-he :o)

P.S. This is a photo taken of Aerie on our honeymoon vacation with a MASSIVE cold sore on his lip. It was a lot worse than it looks. Well, I guess you'd have to know what his lips look like without a cold sore.

I did it!!!!!

Last night was a very special night. I FINALLY did it! At 7:45 p.m., I crawled into bed and watched Grey's Anatomy from 8-9 p.m. But the great part of last night was that Aerie and I were both asleep by about 9:15 p.m. I got about 9.5 hours of sleep last night and I feel AMAZING today! I could totally get used to this. I would really like for this to become a regular thing.

Putting everything aside and getting to bed so early was very hard though, but well worth it. Do you ever feel sooooooooo tired that you actually get a headache? I took a power nap at the table while I was waiting for supper to cook...I was really tired.

Anyway, just thought I'd share that with you. Thanks for reading and have a great Friday and a wonderful weekend!

Love,
Trace
. . .
A note to the Blogger's Guild: I'm sorry that I haven't commented on your comments or on your posts these past few days. Hopefully, after a good night's rest last night, I will have the time this afternoon to spend blogging while the kids are all napping.

Are you proud of me Laura? I think this is my first time getting to sleep before 10:00 since we had our little agreement in November. Okay, three more times and we are going to Starbucks! Yahoooooo! Do you remember your comment? Have you been doing it too?

P.S: Laura, since you came up with the name and all...I think that you should totally post about the Blogger's Guild that we've started.

Happy Birthday Uncle Luka!!!

Just want to wish my brother in law, Luka, a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY today! We are thinking of you and wish we could be
there to celebrate with you.

We love you lots!

Aerie, Tracy, Ethan & Titus :o)

My home is your home

Do you keep a clean home? Are you a neat freak? Are you a slob? Is your home cluttered, messy, somewhere in between?
Have you ever wondered how people feel when they enter into your home? Welcomed, at home, uncomfortable, uneasy?

. . .

I love having people over - I LOVE it! I love hosting, feeding people, hanging out, and most of all - I love it when people feel at home in my home. I want them to feel relaxed and completely welcome.

I believe there are certain things that we can do to have a cozy feeling home. Atmosphere is a big one. I chose warm, neutral colours in my home, like browns, because they are easy on the eyes and create such a warm feeling - like a cup of hot coco or coffee. I love comfortable furniture, throws & pillows. And lighting...well we all know how candles, a toasty fireplace and dimmed lighting make us feel when we visit somewhere. It makes us feel relaxed and comfortable.

When I am expecting a visitor I clean like mad. Besides the basics like a swept floor, clean toilets and dusting, I tend to get right into those little areas - areas that people will probably not even look at...the closets, microwave, in between the stove and the counter (tons of crumbs), under the sink. By the time I am finished, my house is pretty well spotless. I feel good, satisfied and ready to have the visitors over. Now as people start coming in and making a mess, it honestly doesn't bother me. They saw my clean house and the rest is history. I do notice when things fall on the floor and get out of place, but it really doesn't bother me.

A friend and I were chatting about this whole clean house thing yesterday. She mentioned how one of her close friends always has people over at her place. Her house is always full and people always feel comfortable and welcome. My friend also mentioned that this friend of hers' home is not spotless - it's lived in and messy - a normal messy. I don't know what colour her walls are or whether or not she has candles lit for ambiance, but...I'm guessing not. When it all comes down to it, all those little things that make a warm atmosphere are great and may look nice, but that's all they are. They are not going to make people flock to your place. What I think WILL do that is a combination of many things. I think number one would be - YOU! What warm feelings do you give off? Are you friendly, kind, welcoming, inviting? Do you have snacks and food? What about your house? Is it so clean that people feel like they cannot take one step without feeling as though they messed something up? Do you give people "the eye" when they drop crumbs on the floor? Or do you glance down at the mess they just made?

I've been thinking and wondering about this. I wholeheartedly want people to feel so welcome and comfortable at my place, and I hope they do. But I don't know. I think that I need to lighten up on the cleaning. I don't want to be that person who scans the room for messes while people are chatting away at the table...or leans down to pick crumbs off the floor in the middle of conversation (which I did on Saturday!). I don't want people to feel like they have to apologize a million times for the mess they have left behind.

So this is what I'm gonna do. I'm going to have people over and keep it simple. My toilets will be clean, the floors swept up...well maybe...and well, I don't know. It won't be spotless. Ahhh, I am getting all anxious just thinking about that. I don't even know if I can do it.

Well, I will totally keep you posted. In the meantime, what are your thoughts on this whole subject? Do you think that people feel more comfortable in a clean home or a messy and lived in home? Do you think it even makes a difference? What else do you think make people feel comfortable in your own home?

You know what I think? I just realized something. No matter what your house looks like or how messy or tidy you keep it, if you are comfortable in your home - then everyone else will probably be too. You know? If your house is really piggy and you are totally okay with that and you're not apologizing every 2 minutes for the mess...then people will just be like, okay if she don't care, then why should I? O.k. I really have no idea. I probably should have thought this through a little more before posting my thoughts on this.

This is me thinking and processing.

Fun, Friends and Scattergories...(and cheating)

Last night we had some good friends over - Stuart, Sarah + kids, and Steve, Suzie + kids. We ordered pizza, drank tea (Oolong), talked and talked...and then we sat down to play Scattergories. Sarah played really well - she won! Way to go Sarah! Susie and I tied in bottom place :-(

Our plan yesterday was to go tobogganing together, but it was so cold so we decided to skip the outdoor fun and get together at our place. I must say that these two families are some of the kindest, most thoughtful and nicest families we know. They are a lot of fun and it's always a pleasure to spend time with them. Aerie and I are very blessed to have so many wonderful friends in our lives.

So anyway, back to that game! Ok, I did cheat a little. It wasn't so funny this time though. There are not a whole lot of subtle ways to cheat at this particular game - ESPECIALLY when everyone is watching you like a hawk! Twice during the game Susie had to tend to her children, so the game was put on pause. We paused the timer, closed our books and waited. A few times I took a quick peek inside my book when I thought nobody was looking, but Stuart saw me every single time. I wasn't doing very well, so I needed a little help! Scattergories is not my best game - I've never been great at it.

Anyway! Then the unthinkable happened. Someone rolled the letter "D" but for some reason I thought it was the letter "N". So I wrote my list of N words. I couldn't believe that! And needless to say, I wasn't happy. I knew the game was so over for me. I was in a bad mood after that which brings me to believe that I am a sore loser. I love to win, but I really hate losing; I can dish it out, but I can't take it. It's so true. I've never really been physically strong, but I am tough and I love to fight and start things that I can't finish but as soon as I get hurt - that's it for me. I get upset. What is up with that? Maybe I am still PMS'ing. He-he-he! Can't blame everything on that.

So anyhow, I don't really have a point here.

Oh! I do want to say something else that I just remembered! I need a vote on this one!!! These guys were trying to give me a "thumbs down" on a certain word that I wrote for a LEISURE ACTIVITY. I wrote that MOON WALKING was a leisure activity. Can you believe that they didn't think that moon walking could be a leisure activity??? I know how to moon walk, and I even told them sometimes I moon walk while I am watching TV - like to practice and stuff. I think it was a very creative answer! Maybe they were just upset that I had cheated and wanted to see me lose.

So I need some votes here! Moon walking = Leisure Activity - Thumbs up or thumbs down?

P.S: O.k. One more thing. The highlight of my evening was when we (I) tricked Stuart and put a hard boiled egg in his glass of milk, HEHEHEHEHE! He saw it though...well, the egg was still hot and pretty stinky, so his milk was lukewarm and kind of smelly. Oh that is so funny.

Without the kids

Aerie's mom (Nanny) offered to pick up the boys last night and take them to Cosmic Adventures. The kids always love spending time with their nanny, and Aerie and I got to go on a little date. We've been needing some time to talk so we went over to Starbucks and got ourselves a delicious tea. We both tried one that we haven't tried before, Green Tea - Ginger (highly recommend that one).

It was relaxing and nice to just hang out. We went over our agendas for the next two weeks, we chatted, talked about our lists of goals, and then...PLAYED SCRABBLE!

I started the game really believing that I would not cheat. I wanted to win fair and square. Well, sort of. I wanted to try anyway. While I was thinking of a word, Aerie saw Melissa and went over and said hello. The first thing she asked was "Is Tracy cheating over there?"

Aerie was gone for over 5 minutes and I could not find a word. Okay, let me rephrase that - I could find many words, but I could not find a GREAT word that was worth a lot of points. I was looking for the letter T. I reached in the bag, laughing to myself, and grabbed a few letters...NO "T"...ah! so then I saw Aerie walking back over and I just grabbed a handful of letters. The first thing he said was "You little stinker - you cheated didn't you!" I told him that I didn't (and he believed me). But then it was taking me sooooo long to find a great word so I dropped a hint and told him that I had too many letters to choose from. He didn't get the hint. Finally a few minutes later he glanced down at my box and saw that I had about 30 letters and he flipped out and said, "Game's over - I win!" He-he-he. But I actually won though because the letters that I used on the board were really all of my letters. I never actually used the big pile of letters that I sneaked. So I win, eh?

On our way out Aerie went over and said bye to Melissa and he told her that I cheated. She was the LAST person that I wanted him to tell. Read THIS and you will know why, he-he!

My odd, little quirks.

So I have been PMS'ing for a few days now and I've been really emotional and moody. I know...gross. This morning Aerie and I were talking on the phone and he was like, "Are you on your period or what???" I felt like talking about me. I had done this really stupid questionaire online and the results really put me in a wacko mood. Click here if you want to test yourself. So I started to ask Aerie tons of questions. He was getting a little irritated by my questions...I must admit that I was being a royal pain...but anyway, he wrote out what he said to me because I begged him to. My mind doesn't absorb what people tell me - I need to see it to remember it. So this is what he wrote:

.

Tracy,

You are a planner. But you don't work well under stress.
You are not spontaneous.
You can't work under pressure.
Everything needs to be "EXACTLY" the way you want - or its not going to work.
You focus on the minute insignificant details more than anything else.

You are wonderful at completing a task, but it takes you 5 times longer than any other person I know.
Your effort is always appreciated, but it is not always necessary.

For example - Why spend 10 minutes fixing the boys hair if you are just going to put a hat on their head?
You can't make a meal unless you know every detail of the recipe - no wingin' it.
You can't let someone in our home without it being "SPOTLESS".
You are almost always late because you can't leave the house unless you are immaculatly groomed.

There are positives and negatives to each of these quirks you have.
I think you need to learn to choose your battles.

You don't need to spend more than 5 minutes getting ready to go buy groceries.
You can fix kids hair when we get there.
People don't care if the floor is washed before they come over to visit.
Some of the best recipes in the world are made by wingin' it.

I love you.

.

Hmmm, I do believe that what he wrote was very true, but now I sort of wish I wouldn't have asked him to tell me. I would like to justify my bizarre behaviour by hearing all about your quirks.

In His presence

This past Monday was Women's Night at The Life Centre. To add an intimate touch to the evening, each of the women in our Lifegroup wrote out a word of encouragement into a card and gave it to someone. This is what God put on my heart to write. These words were inspired by something I read in my Mom's Devotional Bible.

"Joy is the most infallible sign of the presence of God. But where do you find Joy? You can find it in God's presence. If you want Joy, read your bible, not just the devotional. Read the actual words of God in the pages of the bible - a few small scriptures with your morning coffee. Remember them while you're in the shower, on your way to work, on your lunch breaks, before you turn out the lights at night. Joy comes when you adjust your perspective on life to God's. And that happens by reading his Word and spending time in his presence."

Today I realized something. I am very happy, but I am not joyful - there is a difference. I want to find Joy in all circumstances. I want Joy to bubble up from inside of me and rub off on my kids. For a split second this morning I thought to myself, "Well, how do I get Joy?" And I immediately answered my own question. In God's presence.

I haven't been spending any time in God's presence. I pray, I think of him often and thank him throughout my day, I open my bible while kids are eating, but I have not spent time in his presence in weeks - maybe even months. You see, God wants us to abide in him, not just visit him occasionally (John 8:31). Jesus will actually dwell, abide and make his permanent home in our hearts. His presence will cause us to be rooted deep in love so that we can experience Joy and the complete fullness of God.

My goal is to spend time in God's presence every day - whether it be 5 minutes or an hour.

The nine laws to staying lean for life!

Aerie gets a newsletter for Outdoor Ottawa and this was one of the articles in the newsletter. It's probably one of the best articles I've read on weightloss. Check it out here.

. . .

"Not long ago, the secret to losing weight seemed straightforward: Just give up bread. Not long before that, it was all about avoiding fat. And when those theories sprung leaks, a long list of diet fads was there to fill the holes — cabbage soup, grapefruit, eating for your blood type ... the list goes on and on.

To help you stop diet-hopping, we've peeled away the layers of hype to reveal the core concepts and surprising science behind what really works for weight loss. Follow these nine laws for hitting that perfect number on the scale — and stay lean for life."

Frosty the Invincible

Now wasn't yesterday (Friday) morning a beautiful day to play outside in the snow?! We all know that snow has to be the perfect consistency to be able to roll into a snowman. When I took a look outside Friday morning, I knew it was the day. It was so mild out...and very wet too.
So we all got bundled up and went outside on one very important mission - to make a snowman. The kids had SO much fun... and I think I had even more fun. This was our first snowman of the year!!! There was very little snow on the ground so we could only make a little snowman. After we finished, the boys suggested we give our snowman a name. Ethan blurted out, "I know mommy - FROSTY!" I suggested a few more original names, but they were really stuck on Frosty. So here is a photo of Ethan, Ty and their new friend Frosty.

Last night we left the house for a few hours and on our way home late last night it was raining. We warned the boys that Frosty would probably be all melted and assured them that we'd make another "Frosty" again when the snow was right.

Well, this morning when the boys woke up and looked outside...............Frosty was still standing!!!!! There was no snow anywhere else. He lost his eyes and smile, but the important thing is that Frosty is still alive! :-) He's like a SUPER snowman (he needs a cape)!!! I wonder if he'll be there all winter...hmmm...Frosty's little stump - I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Happy Birthday Ange...

What is a Sister?

She is your mirror shining back at you with a world of possibilities.

She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best,

and loves you anyway.

She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who

knows when you are smiling, even in the dark. She is your teacher, your defense

attorney, your personal press agent, even your shrink.

Some days, she's the reason you wish you were an only child.

~Barbara Alpert~

.

If your sister is in a tearing hurry to go out and cannot catch your eye, she's wearing your best sweater. ~Pam Brown

.

More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you've been bad and good. ~Linda Sunshine

.

To have a loving relationship with a sister is not simply to have a buddy or a confident -- it is to have a soul mate for life. ~Victoria Secunda

.

Chance made us Sisters, hearts made us friends. ~Anonymous

.

If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child. ~Linda Sunshine

.
A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost. ~Marion C. Garretty

.

Having a sister is like having a best friend you can't get rid of. You know whatever you do, they'll still be there. ~Amy Li

.

God has blessed me again and again. Always a sister, always a friend.

.

A loyal sister is worth a thousand friends. ~Marian Eigerman

.

A sister is both your mirror -- and your opposite. ~Elizabeth Fishel

.

A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves—a special kind of double.

May all your wishes and dreams come to pass.

I love you, Ange.

Tracy