Pure Joy

2009-06-09T21:25:00.002-04:00

I have a new blog! Please visit http://tracbiafore.wordpress.com/

What happened to Christmas?

2007-12-28T22:43:00.000-05:00

It's been months since my last post... I feel like I have let my Blogger's Guild down - I'm sorry, girls. I'm really going to try to read your blogs regularly, as well as update mine on a more... regular basis.

I hope you have all had a Merry Christmas. Ours was, well, it was nice. To be honest though, something was missing and I can't exactly put my finger on it.

Growing up, Christmas for me was extravagant! Now that I have children of my own, I seem to be following in my parent's footsteps. I want Ethan & Titus to have everything; I want them to be blown away; I want them to feel that excitement that I always felt on Christmas morning. But to be really honest, Christmas has just become more commercial than anything else, in our home... and I am ashamed to say so. I have a knot in my stomach when I think about the past few weeks leading up to Christmas. I have been SO stressed out, staying up late and shopping almost every night until it's made me physically sick. Basically, I've been a wreck. And all for what?

I want our boys to have the toys that they like - sometimes I think I want it more than they do. I am certain that they would have been happy with just a few things, but every year I go overboard. The more toys they get; the more toys they want.

My boys are thankful when they receive gifts, but I can't help but sense this numbness come over them when they receive too many gifts... where they are not content anymore with what they have and want even more, or, they don't appreciate what they have anymore. What are we really teaching our children by giving them SO much?

Something is missing here - Christmas should not about getting stuff; it's really about so, so much more. I don't want to go through another meaningless Christmas. I want our Christmas's to be joyful and meaningful.

I need to think about this a little more...

Any thoughts? How do you balance the giving/getting?

Coconut Oil

2007-07-12T14:00:00.001-04:00

HEALTH BENEFITS OF COCONUT OIL

Research and clinical observation have shown that medium-chain fatty acids, like those found in coconut oil, may provide a wide range of health benefits. Some of these are summarized below:

Kills viruses that cause mononucleosis, influenza, hepatitis C, measles, herpes, AIDS and other illnesses
Kills bacteria that cause pneumonia, earache, throat infections, dental cavities, food poisoning, urinary tract infections, meningitis, gonorrhea, and dozens of other diseases
Kills fungi and yeast that cause candida, jock itch, ringworm, athlete’s foot, thrush, diaper rash and other infections
Expels or kills parasites, lice, giardia, and other parasites
Provides a nutritional source of quick energy
Boosts energy and endurance enhancing physical and athletic performance
Improves digestion and absorption of fat-soluble vitamins and amino acids
Improves insulin secretion and utilization of blood glucose
Relieves stress on pancreas and enzyme systems of the body
Reduces symptoms associated with pancreatitis
Helps relieve symptoms and reduce health risks associated with diabetes
Reduces problems associated with malabsorption syndrome and cystic fibrosis
Improves calcium and magnesium absorption and supports the development of strong bones and teeth
Helps protect against osteoporosis
Helps relieve symptoms of gallbladder disease
Relieves symptoms associated with Crohn’s disease, ulcerative colitis, and stomach ulcers
Relieves pain and irritation caused by hemorrhoids
Reduces chronic inflammation
Supports tissue healing and repair
Supports and aids immune system function
Helps protect the body from breast, colon, and other cancers
Is heart healthy; does not increase blood cholesterol or platelet stickiness
Helps prevent heart disease
Helps prevent high blood pressure
Helps prevent periodontal disease and tooth decay
Functions as a protective antioxidant
Helps to protect the body from harmful free-radicals that promote premature aging and degenerative disease
Does not deplete the body’s antioxidant reserves like other oils do
Improves utilization of essential fatty acids and protects them from oxidation
Helps relieve symptoms associated with chronic fatigue syndrome
Relieves symptoms associated with benign prostatic hyperplasia (prostate enlargement)
Reduces epileptic seizures
Helps protect against kidney disease and bladder infections
Helps prevent liver disease
Is lower in calories than all other fats
Supports thyroid function
Promotes loss of excess weight by increasing metabolic rate
Is utilized by the body to produce energy in preference to being stored as body fat like other dietary fats
Helps prevent obesity and overweight problems
Applied topically helps to form a chemical barrier on the skin to ward off infection
Reduces symptoms associated with psoriasis, eczema, and dermatitis
Supports the natural chemical balance of the skin
Softens skin and helps relieve dryness and flaking
Prevents wrinkles, sagging skin, and age spots
Promotes healthy-looking hair and complexion
Provides protection from the damaging effects of ultraviolet radiation from the sun
Controls dandruff
Helps you look and feel younger
Is resistant to oxidation, so has a long shelf life
Does not form harmful by-products when heated to normal cooking temperatures like other vegetable oils to
Has no harmful or discomforting side effects
Is completely non-toxic to humans

Reference: "The Healing Miracles of Coconut Oil" by Bruce Fife, N.D.

"When someone hands you a lemon - make lemonade!"

2007-06-29T09:33:00.000-04:00

Freshly squeezed lemon juice (not frozen or reconstituted) will rebuild the liver faster than any other known method.

The lemon is a cleansing agent with the following BUILDING factors and contains these ingredients:

CALCIUM strengthens the brain for clear thinking

CARBON acts as a motor stimulant

CHLORINE cleans blood plasma

HYDROGEN activates the sensory organs

IRON builds the red corpuscles to rapidly correct all forms of anemia

MAGNESIUM acts as a blood alkalizer

OXYGEN builds vitality

PHOSPHORUS knits bones, stimulates and builds the brain for clearer thinking

POTASSIUM strengthens and energizes the heart, stimulates and builds the kidneys and adrenals

SILICON aids the thyroid for deeper breathing

SODIUM encourages tissue building

In my previous post, I discussed how drinking DISTILLED WATER sucks out the overload of positive ions in our bodies. This is where LEMONS come in. Lemons rebuild the body. The distilled water sucks out the positive ions and the lemon-aid winds you back up.

There are a few important things to remember when drinking lemon-aid:

Drink no more than 4 ozs. per hour and not after 6 p.m., with a maximum of 30 oz (about 15 drinks) per day.
Always dilute at a ratio of 1 oz. lemon juice to 9 ozs. water.
Suggested use: 27 ozs. water with 3 ozs. fresh lemon juice.

I hesitate blogging on this because there are cautions to everything we do and just like anything else, we have to be careful even when consuming natural things. Too much of ANYTHING is not good; and distilled water and lemons are no acception. Many people drink distilled water all day without realizing that it's too much for our bodies to handle. I have gone on complete lemon-aid fasts drinking tons of lemon water all day. Again, it's too much.

Using distilled water and lemon-aid properly can do miracles in your body, but these numbers are very precise - our bodies cannot handle more than 4 ozs. of distilled water in any given half hour; drink no more than 4 ozs. per hour of lemon-aid.

My teacher has worked in numerous cancer clinics all around the world. This is how they treat these dying people while carefully monitoring their body chemistry - distilled water and lemon-aid (among other things).
If you have any questions at all on this or would like to know more, I would be happy to help in any way that I can. Doctor Marshall is always there to answer any questions that I have.

Distilled water

2007-06-22T12:12:00.000-04:00

Theory of Ionization

When a thunderstorm comes in, it brings heavy air that is charged with positive ions. Lightning cuts through the positive ions and the air is immediately recharged with negative ions. After a storm passes, the air is light with negative ions.

Food nutrition is based on the Theory of Ionization. The negative ions in our bodies are the good guys. The positive ions in our bodies are the bad guys – the pains, poisons, toxins, disease, etc. EVERYTHING that goes wrong in the body is related to positive ions.

Distilled water is an empty water which has the innate capability of attracting to it the overload of positive ions in the human body. It will literally suck out the positive ions from our bodies. Distilled water will no longer be “distilled” if anything at all is added to it - even an ice cube from non-distilled water.

Distilled water should be used as a medicine only. One of the biggest mistakes that we make when drinking distilled water is that we drink it all the time and in large quantities. It is very important that we never drink more than 4 ounces in any given ½ hour – more than that will overwork the body. Pure distilled water should not be consumed after 5:30 p.m., so our bodies can rest, with a 60 ounce limit per day.

"Eat them alone or leave them alone."

2007-06-01T14:03:00.000-04:00

Melons are very easy to digest. This is due to their high liquid content - they are all 90% or more water. So melons digest almost immediately. They require virtually no digestive action by the stomach and pass through the digestive system very quickly; however, this can only happen if the stomach is empty. If melon is eaten with other foods that require more complex digestive action in the stomach, it can no longer pass through quickly and gets "stuck". Even though the melon is already broken down sufficiently to pass quickly through the stomach, in effect, it gets trapped there as it must wait for the other foods to be properly digested. As the melon sits and waits in the stomach, it begins to ferment, leading to bloating, gas and other digestive issues.

Due to this fact, it is important to remember the following rule for all types of melons in order to promote healthy digestion:

"Eat them alone or leave them alone."

This does not mean that you need to be alone when you eat melons, he-hel!! What it does mean is that all types of melons should be eaten at least an hour away from any other food - including other fruits. It is acceptable to eat different types of melons together, as all melons digest very quickly.

Here are a few interesting facts about melons:

eating nothing by watermelon one day per week is very beneficial for the kidneys and cases of water retention
cantalope and watermelon are excellent sources of beta-carotene and Vitamin C
watermelon is cooling and has a very high water content

Fruits & veggies anyone?

2007-05-31T15:13:00.000-04:00

FRUITS cleanse the body. During the morning our energy is focused on elimination and fruit helps with that process. It is not recommended to eat fruit in the evening (after 8 pm). Separate fruits from vegetables by 1 hour (creates gas).

VEGETABLES supply the body with minerals, which is needed for tissue repair. This process occurs mainly while we are sleeping. Include veggies with your lunch, afternoon snacks and dinner.

Did you know that anything with seeds is botanically a fruit? Here is a list of fruits that can be mixed with vegetables:

tomatoes
squash
pumpkin
avacado
coconut (in the nut family)
pinneaple (because of the digestive enzymes)
papaya
lemons
limes

I'm back & I've missed you...

2007-05-31T14:23:00.000-04:00

I have been passionate about natural health and nutrition for as long as I can remember - more so a few years ago when I began having some problems with my health and digestive system. Since that time, I began to read everything that I could get my hands on that had to do with natural health. I dreamt of becoming a Natural Health Practitioner, a Fitness Instructor... of being so healthy and fit, and helping others to live healthy lives.

Earlier this year, I took my very first step towards this goal and I went back to school! The moment I signed up for my first class, those dreams became tangible. I am so, so excited!

The course I am taking now is one of many Nutrition courses in my program. I have been learning daily living tips to stay healthy, and the importance of correct body pH balance in maintaining health. I'm learning how to be in control of my own body. Every week I come home from school filled with excitement and newfound knowledge ! I just love it!!!

So anyway, I've been sharing some of the things that I've been learning with my family and some of my friends. A few of my girlfriends thought it would be interesting if I posted some of what I have been learning on my blog. So I am going to do just that. I hope you enjoy this information as much as I have.

The International Academy Health Education Centre is where I am taking my courses. If you are interested, click on the link below for more information on their courses and everything else they have to offer.

Loving Actions Speak Clearly

2007-05-18T07:59:00.000-04:00

Walk in love's annointing today: be kind, joyful, peaceful, and stable. Let God love others through you.

That is the cry of my heart today.

Proud Mommy

2007-03-16T14:02:00.000-04:00

John 3:16

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

Here is a little video of Ethan & Ty reciting John 3:16.

Beautiful Mom....

2007-03-12T07:40:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday!

Mom, in so many ways I model my life after you. You are so beautiful. Thank you for demonstrating such love. Thank you for always being there for me; for all of your encouragement, your prayers, your blessings, your company, your wisdom, your absolute love. I couldn't ask for a better Mom. You are more than my mom... you are my friend.

I love you.

. . .

I always think of you when I read this scripture, Mom. You have held on to God's instructions at all cost and with all of your heart, and God's grace covers you. You are so noble, Mom. Bless you on your special day.

Proverbs 4

Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction;
pay attention and gain understanding.

I give you sound learning,
so do not forsake my teaching.

When I was a boy in my father's house,
still tender, and an only child of my mother,

he taught me and said,
"Lay hold of my words with all your heart;
keep my commands and you will live.

Get wisdom, get understanding;
do not forget my words or swerve from them.

Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you;
love her, and she will watch over you.

Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom.
Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

Esteem her, and she will exalt you;
embrace her, and she will honor you.

She will set a garland of grace on your head
and present you with a crown of splendor."

Listen, my son, accept what I say,
and the years of your life will be many.

I guide you in the way of wisdom
and lead you along straight paths.

When you walk, your steps will not be hampered;
when you run, you will not stumble.

Hold on to instruction, do not let it go;
guard it well, for it is your life.

Do not set foot on the path of the wicked
or walk in the way of evil men.

Avoid it, do not travel on it;
turn from it and go on your way.

For they cannot sleep till they do evil;
they are robbed of slumber till they make someone fall.

They eat the bread of wickedness
and drink the wine of violence.

The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn,
shining ever brighter till the full light of day.

But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness;
they do not know what makes them stumble.

My son, pay attention to what I say;
listen closely to my words.

Do not let them out of your sight,
keep them within your heart;

for they are life to those who find them
and health to a man's whole body.

Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.

Put away perversity from your mouth;
keep corrupt talk far from your lips.

Let your eyes look straight ahead,
fix your gaze directly before you.

Make level paths for your feet
and take only ways that are firm.

Do not swerve to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil.

It's hump day & I'm in a funny mood!

2007-03-07T09:38:00.000-05:00

This is a workout that my mom, my sister and I have been doing off and on for the past 8 years or so. It's called The Body Flex. I know it looks funny (no, hilarious!) and weird, but we love the way that it makes us feel. It actually works to make your tummy flatter and your body tighter... that's if you can get through the workout without laughing so much. I know you're all gonna think I'm crazy, but that's okay... I already know that I am, lol! This workout truly works, but don't take my word for it - try it for yourselves! Click here for more info: The Body Flex Workout

For our enjoyment, someone has added some sound effects to the second video! It's true, while doing these exercises you do let out a lot of air, lol, but it's not THAT bad! Ha-ha-ha!

Woohooooooooo!

2007-03-05T15:37:00.000-05:00

This weekend I did something out of the norm. I went swimming. Okay, let me rephrase that - I went swimming in a bathing suit. I actually let people see me in a bathing suit and I didn't care what anyone thought. Not a big deal for some people, but it's a huge deal for me.

Aerie thought it would be fun to take the boys swimming on Saturday. I was like, "that's fine but I ain't going in." My comment didn't surprise him because that's what he has come to expect from me.

As the day went on I began thinking of the fun they would have. And then I realized that I'd be missing out, once again, on all of the fun & family time, and all because of my w-e-i-g-h-t; measuring myself according to what I weighed... how I thought I looked in my bathing suit. So I put my foot down and I litterally JUMPED IN! I refused to let my weight control my mood or my day! And I had the most fun time with my family!

...which brings me to another thought.

I was in the change room and I look up and this woman nearly runs me over. The thing is, she was completely NAKED!!! I am one of those women who prefer to dress and undress myself in private when I am in a public place. Maybe it was the way that I was brought up - not sure. I am always, hmmm, shocked when I see women get naked like that. It's confusing for me. I wonder WHY? Why don't they cover themselves? I'm actually more curious than anything. I mean, women of all shapes, sizes and races do it. Why, why, why?

If you are one of "those" women who are not discreet when they get changed in a public changeroom, I would LOVE to know why. Just why. That's all :)

Thank you God for my food

2007-03-03T12:08:00.000-05:00

Understanding the science of why we overeat and what causes food addiction is all pretty amazing stuff. But I want to remind you today that nothing is too difficult for God. Nothing! All we have to do is ask. It's not as complicated as we sometimes make it out to be.

Maybe you notice this as well with you, but in my life, there is always this point that I get to where I feel like I've lost all control in a certain area. I feel a sense of hopelessness and desperation, and this fierce anger comes over me. This anger is directed at the sin in my life - the area that I have lost control over. I realize that I am weak, that not only do I know that I can't do it on my own, but I don't WANT to anymore. I feel completely helpless and so exhausted.

When I reach this point I know that I am on the verge of a breakthrough - of FREEDOM. This is when I cry out and pour my heart out before the Lord. When I am at the point where I know that I cannot take one more step on my own -- I turn to God, and I let him speak to me.

I've realized that weight is an idol to me.

When I am angry, I eat. When I am bored, I eat. When I am stressed out, I eat. When I am depressed, I eat. When I am happy, I eat. I have found a source of comfort from my food. I have this love-hate relationship with food; I love it because it tastes so good, but I hate it because it makes me bloated and fat. When my emotions are out of control, I do not go to God or read the Word - I eat because it is easier.

I feel great about myself when I fit into my clothes and I feel thin, but bad about myself when I feel fat. I am not spirit-led, my weight controls my moods and my life. I draw strength from my weight and not from God. My weight is an idol to me.

I've missed out on so many of God's blessings and opportunities all because of my weight. I can't count the number of times that I've stayed home from church on Sunday mornings because I think I am fat. Just recently we had a beautiful women's banquet at our church, and I chose not to go because I felt fat.

I want to encourage all of the women who can relate to what I am saying. If we repent, God WILL heal us. He will TEACH us how to eat again. God will teach us how to eat until we are satisfied, and not until we are engorged. Every time we sit down to eat, we should thank God for our food. Food is not the enemy, and it's not our satisfaction either. Food brings strength to our bodies. When we are worried, angry and depressed, we should worship God and draw our strength from Him - not from our food. When we are eating there is an inner voice inside each of us that tells us when we are satisfied. At that point we make our choice - do we keep eating because it tastes so, so good? Or do we put our forks down and know that we are satisfied - that we don't need to eat anymore.

I am determined and so excited to not eat simply because food tastes good, but to eat because I'm feeding myself. I desire to eat healthy because I want to take care of myself, but I don't want to eat healthy to lose weight. There is nothing wrong with enjoying food when you are celebrating - weddings, showers, parties. But choose to eat to celebrate... not celebrate eating.

Cravings that kill

2007-03-02T13:18:00.000-05:00

Have you ever noticed how bananas and strawberries don't cause cravings? You never feel guilty about eating too many apples or carrots. Why ? Because natural foods balance the body and physical cravings are caused by biochemical imbalance. Caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, salt, saturated fat, refined sugars and starches cause cravings because they imbalance the body's chemistry.

Addictive substances cause the body to become dependent on an unnatural substance for homeostatic balance. Removing it will cause withdrawals. During a withdrawal, the addict suffers through the painful readjustment as the body cries out for the missing substance in a desperate attempt to maintain homeostasis (chemical balance). The body demands the very substance that caused the imbalance.

Eating natural foods allows the brain's chemistry to function normally. Natural foods assist homeostasis, supplying vitamins, minerals and enzymes to assist the body in maintaining balance. In a balanced state, hunger is in relation to the body's need for nutrition.

Eating processed foods create cravings for processed foods. When we eat chocolate, we crave more chocolate. Eating foods filled with sugar in return makes us crave sugar filled foods. Eating chips makes us crave that salt and fat. These artificial pleasures satisfy for moments, but in reality they are stealing valuable nutrition from our diets by feeding our bodies with empty calories.

In nature, foods that taste good are good for us. I was just reading something that I found really interesting. Sweetness is an indicator of calories. Saltiness is an indicator of mineral content. A bittersweet taste, like lemon, is a sign of cleansing acids and vitamins. We like foods with fats and oils because they supply calories and essential fatty acids. Natural oils and fats are high in calories and fat-soluble vitamins. Healthy food has a wholesome taste, a pleasure intended to reinforce healthy behaviour.

When coming off of a long fast, our bodies do not crave foods like refined sugars and processed foods - instead we desire to eat wholesome foods. It's amazing, isn't it!

Have you ever eaten a pomegranate before? Yum, they are my favourite fruit.

We are not alone

2007-02-23T08:28:00.000-05:00

I have had a few e-mails of people telling me that they are also struggling with food addiction. This is really a very common thing that many women (& men) are just too embarrassed to talk about. It is difficult to talk about. In a way it's a little humiliating confessing to any addiction. To publicly confess that something has control and power over us makes us feel weak and vulnerable. You know? But there is power in talking about our struggles. And when we feel weak, it gives God the opportunity to be strong in our lives and it also gives us the opportunity to glean from other peoples' experiences.

I know that I am going to have complete freedom over this - I just know it. I also know that I won't be perfect - that I will probably stumble along the way. But that is okay. My mind is being renewed and I can feel God transforming it. I don't want to ever forget what God is doing right now.

My desire is for you to get freedom in this area as well. If you aren't ready to talk about your struggle with food, that is okay. But for those of you who would like to share but would rather people not know who you are, there is always the option to comment anonymously.

Love,
Tracy

Cleansing my thoughts

2007-02-21T14:16:00.000-05:00

Phillipians 4:4 states
...Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent of praiseworthy - think about such things...and the God of peace will be with you.

If we consider the brain a computer, each of us has been inputting data and setting up programs since childhood. Every kind word, criticism, smile, and insult is data. A lot of that data was false. Through all of these years of corrupted data, we may have come to believe that we are fat, ugly, stupid, weak and useless. Those beliefs have predetermined our actions and have powerfully affected our thinking.

Although I have come a long way, the battle in my mind is still an area of struggle. But I am on my way to freedom :o) I am so aware of my thoughts now. Throughout my day I fill my imagination with uplifting and good thoughts and I try to thank God as often as I can.

Just a few days ago this thought came to me as clear as a bell, "you are worthless." The thought came from out of nowhere. Right away I said outloud, "I AM worth something!" I am doing this with everything. Like when I feel overwhelmed while I am taking care of the daycare, I just begin to tell the children how much I love them and how I love spending my days with them, how thankful I am to be home, how happy I am. When I am eating food that I know is good for me, I see it nourishing my body and filling me with life. When I catch a reflection of myself or glance down at the spare tire around my waist, and those "fat and ugly" thoughts come in, I refuse to entertain such lies! I tell myself that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and I love how God made me.

Doing this alone has been helping me tremendously and it has only been a few days. I know that God is renewing my mind. And I know that the more that I think good thoughts, the better I will feel and self-discipline with come naturally.

My war with food

2007-02-19T14:53:00.000-05:00

I can honestly say that one of my greatest desires is to feel and be super healthy. Health is a huge passion of mine. So how is it possible that I eat so badly sometimes - so opposite of what I desire. Not many people know this, but I am a food addict. It's not an easy thing to admit, but it's the truth. The more that I try to not think about food, the more obsessed that I become. But I'm on a journey; I am on my way to freedom and this is the beginning - right here, right now.

In the past I have abstained from chocolate, sweets, plus all the things that I shouldn't be eating on a Candida diet, for weeks at a time. I would eat one cookie, and then relapse with a full fledged binge. No amount of sugar was safe for me. I hated myself for being so weak, but the cycle went on. I needed discipline. I have gone on numerous, lengthy juice fasts over the years. Most of the time I would fast after a lengthy binge where I had gained weight. I could not stand myself anymore, so I would fast. After my fast was over, I would eventually blow it and destroy all the benefits of the fast. Fasting had become like a drug to me - fasting was increasing my compulsiveness. I loved the freedom that I felt during a long fast, the feeling of being in total control. Victory tasted sweet, but it never lasted. Each time telling myself that this time I would practice self-control after breaking my fast.

It is my heart's desire to eat nutritiously and to be healthy. I gradually see the scale going up yet the binge goes on. I know that these foods are harmful and killing my immune system, yet even the fact that I am jeopardizing my health, is still not enough to stop me. What compels me to raid the refrigerator when I am not even hungry? Or eat four granola bars in a row? If we honestly evaluate our decisions and actions, we will face the sobering realization that our emotions are in the driver's seat. Feelings compel us to act. When they become uncontrollable, they are defined as compulsive, obsessive or addictive behaviour.

Here Are Some Signs of Compulsive Eating:

Thinking about food a lot.
Eating to relieve worry or stress.
Continuing to eat even after feeling sick from eating too much.
Becoming anxious while eating.
Daydreaming or worrying while eating.
Overeating.
Eating too fast.
Eating everything on the plate.
Feeling guilty when you eat.
Eating in secret.
Unable to eat one cookie or any treats that you really like.
Binging after a diet.
Hunger makes you feel fearful and uncomfortable.

I answered YES to every single one of these.

Tomorrow I am going to talk about our distorted thinking and our negative emotions.

Back from my blog fast

2007-02-19T13:28:00.000-05:00

It's been a while hasn't it! Judging from all of the comments that I've received, it's safe to say that you are interested in hearing about my computer fast.

One anonymous reader wrote this:

I'd love to hear about your week of fasting. What did you do with the extra time not blogging? Did fasting meet your expectations? Did you recieve any insights from God? I love your honesty in your January 28th blog. I can't speak for your other readers but this reader would love to hear all about it.

I spent a lot of time in the Word, cooking more, spending more time with my husband and kids, sleeping more, etc. Aerie really noticed the difference. Usually when he got home from work every day, I would sneak downstairs and get 30 minutes or so on the computer thinking he didn't notice I was gone or whatever.

The first couple of days were harder. I was so used to running up and down the stairs all throughout my days just to check my e-mail for two minutes. It's not that I would spend a tremendous amount of time on the computer, it's more that I was beginning to feel obssessed with checking it - I was thinking about it way too much. So, fasting my computer time definitely brought some balance back into my life. As we all know, too much of one thing is not good. I desperately needed to rebalance my priorities. I did miss the computer a lot. Because I don't talk on the phone much, I keep in touch with many of my friends through e-mail. That was very hard. I felt a little isolated from that part of my life during that week. Sometimes I felt like I was missing out, but I knew it was only for a season so I pushed through.

Did fasting meet my expectations? Well, the three major reasons why I went on this fast were to... 1) Balance my priorities 2) Food Addiction and binging 3) Anger. This fast definitely started something, but it's a work in progress. Throughout my fast I had been dwelling on scriptures about love. I have been searching myself and praying for God's guidance and clarity in these areas of my life. I am learning where my anger is rooted and where it comes from, but like I said - it's a work in progress. I am really excited because I know that what I am going through is going to bring about complete freedom. The battle is in my mind - my thoughts.

Our Valentine's Day date

2007-02-15T14:10:00.000-05:00

We had been antipipating this evening for days. Ethan had a sore tummy before we left and was still sick with an awful cold, but he still wanted to go. So we did. As soon as we were seated, we exchanged gifts. This kept us pleasantly occupied until our food arrived.
Ethan and Titus couldn't wait to get some Bugs 'n Cheese at Boston Pizza; Ty was especially excited! When the meal finally arrived - Ty thought it was just the most amazing thing! He dug right in and didn't come up for air for quite a while :)

I had the most amazing time with my family. I love spending time with them. they are the best!

Happy Valentine's Day!

2007-02-14T11:11:00.000-05:00

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE...

What do you LOVE to do on Valentine's Day?

Shout out!

2007-02-10T15:09:00.000-05:00

A special hello to these beautiful women: Ranelle S, Christine H, Sarah Mac...
What do these 3 women have in common one might ask? Well, all three read my blog...and all 3 DO NOT comment!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He-he-he! I dare you to comment! I double dare you to comment! Am I putting you on the spot? Who else can I add to this list?

:o)

Love you guys

7 days

2007-01-28T22:18:00.000-05:00

I wanted to let you all know that I will be taking a break from my blog and e-mail for a week.

I love my e-mail and blogging so much that I almost feel like it's consuming me. I just need to take it out of my life for a little while and get some perspective on things.

I don't think there is anything wrong with spending time on the computer. In fact, I have built so many friendships through e-mail and I am so grateful for that. Lately though, I feel like certain areas of my life are falling to the wayside. Often I choose to sit at the computer when I know that I should be doing so many other things like; spending time with my children and husband, spending time in the word, getting to bed at a descent hour, starting supper earlier, exercising...and the list goes on. My life is out of balance and I don't like it.

I've decided to abstain from e-mail and blogging all day, but allow myself about 30 minutes to verify my e-mail every evening. I will not be blogging, reading blogs or commenting on blogs during this time.

During this time of fasting, I also want to concentrate on the many areas in my life that need healing.

1) My struggle with food and binging

2) Anger.
I so desperately need God's love to infiltrate every area of my life. I take life a little too seriously sometimes, but...it's more than that. I want to love. I want to be loving and kind. Loving my children is so easy. Loving my husband is easy too, but I sometimes take my anger or frustrations out on him. Loving my daycare kids as I love my own children is a challenge. It's very hard. I'm not sure how or when this has happened but I feel as though my heart has hardened and it's just been more difficult to love lately. I want to love but, I don't know, I get moody and irritable -- often. I want a soft heart. I need more of God's love to work through all of me, and for this, I need to spend time with God. And ultimately I cannot do that if I am always on the computer.

So this is a good thing. I will miss my e-mail, blogging, responding to & reading all of your blogs and comments MORE than you can possibly know.

I'll be back on February 5th!

Love,
Tracy
. . .

1 Corinthians 13

LOVE

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

I'm it!

2007-01-28T20:46:00.000-05:00

Lori recently tagged me on this little questionaire. Yeah Lori, that was very nice link love!
. . .

1. What’s the most fun work you’ve ever done, and why? (Two sentences max)

O.k. I have to say that it's what I did a few weeks ago. I (along with a friend) decorated the church for our Women's Night. It was time consuming, and I was a little nervous the entire day, but it was SO much fun! I love decorating!!!

2. Name one thing you did in the past that you no longer do but wish you did? (One sentence max)

Read novels and actual books - big, romantic, interesting ones that make me cry!!!!

3. Name one thing you’ve always wanted to do but keep putting it off? (One sentence max)

Organize all of my photos into a scrapbook.

4. What two things would you most like to learn or be better at, and why? (Two sentences max)

1)I would love to learn more about Holistic Health/Natural Medicine. The more that I learn, the more that I realize that there is SO much more to learn!

2)I wish I were better at teaching and expressing myself.

5. If you could take a class/workshop/apprentice from anyone in the world living or dead, who would it, be and what would you hope to learn? (Two more sentences, max)

I'm kind of rushing now, so I don't have time to look this all up.

1) I would love to sit down with Dr. Dobson from Focus on The family and just ask TONS of questions and learn as much as I can about raising BOYS!!!!!!!!

2)My dream is to return to school and become a Holistic Health Practitioner or a Nutritionist.

6. What three words might your best friends or family use to describe you?

Mischevious, Funny, Thoughtful

7. Now list two more words you wish they described you as…

Well spoken and Spontaneous

8. What are your top three passions? (can be current or past, work, hobbies, or causes– three sentences max)

1)Family & Friends. Just keeping close with the people that I love - whether that be through e-mail, get togethers, cards, phone...I just care so much about my family and friends and I always want to make sure that I make time for the people that I love.

2)Health and Nutrition. I am so passionate about learning as much as I possibly can absorb. I just love it all - ah!

3) Making cards: I love encouraging and loving people through cards.

9. Write–and answer–one more question that YOU would ask someone (with answer in three sentences max)

I don't know. Sorry! (Aerie is waiting to use the computer)

Tip

2007-01-26T12:03:00.000-05:00

I felt and saw a cold sore just starting on my lip last night. It was at the stage where you can feel it and it's a little tingly. So right away I cut open a Vitamin E capsule and put some on my lips repeatedly through the evening and then finally went to sleep like that. I woke up this morning and it's GONE! I get cold sores every once in a while & Vitamin E always works for me (especially when you catch it right at the begining stages).

Just thought I would share my little Herpes tip with you all, he-he-he :o)

P.S. This is a photo taken of Aerie on our honeymoon vacation with a MASSIVE cold sore on his lip. It was a lot worse than it looks. Well, I guess you'd have to know what his lips look like without a cold sore.

I did it!!!!!

2007-01-26T08:18:00.000-05:00

Last night was a very special night. I FINALLY did it! At 7:45 p.m., I crawled into bed and watched Grey's Anatomy from 8-9 p.m. But the great part of last night was that Aerie and I were both asleep by about 9:15 p.m. I got about 9.5 hours of sleep last night and I feel AMAZING today! I could totally get used to this. I would really like for this to become a regular thing.

Putting everything aside and getting to bed so early was very hard though, but well worth it. Do you ever feel sooooooooo tired that you actually get a headache? I took a power nap at the table while I was waiting for supper to cook...I was really tired.

Anyway, just thought I'd share that with you. Thanks for reading and have a great Friday and a wonderful weekend!

Love,
Trace
. . .
A note to the Blogger's Guild: I'm sorry that I haven't commented on your comments or on your posts these past few days. Hopefully, after a good night's rest last night, I will have the time this afternoon to spend blogging while the kids are all napping.

Are you proud of me Laura? I think this is my first time getting to sleep before 10:00 since we had our little agreement in November. Okay, three more times and we are going to Starbucks! Yahoooooo! Do you remember your comment? Have you been doing it too?

P.S: Laura, since you came up with the name and all...I think that you should totally post about the Blogger's Guild that we've started.

Happy Birthday Uncle Luka!!!

2007-01-23T14:32:00.000-05:00

Just want to wish my brother in law, Luka, a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY today! We are thinking of you and wish we could be
there to celebrate with you.

We love you lots!

Aerie, Tracy, Ethan & Titus :o)

My home is your home

2007-01-22T14:43:00.000-05:00

Do you keep a clean home? Are you a neat freak? Are you a slob? Is your home cluttered, messy, somewhere in between?
Have you ever wondered how people feel when they enter into your home? Welcomed, at home, uncomfortable, uneasy?

. . .

I love having people over - I LOVE it! I love hosting, feeding people, hanging out, and most of all - I love it when people feel at home in my home. I want them to feel relaxed and completely welcome.

I believe there are certain things that we can do to have a cozy feeling home. Atmosphere is a big one. I chose warm, neutral colours in my home, like browns, because they are easy on the eyes and create such a warm feeling - like a cup of hot coco or coffee. I love comfortable furniture, throws & pillows. And lighting...well we all know how candles, a toasty fireplace and dimmed lighting make us feel when we visit somewhere. It makes us feel relaxed and comfortable.

When I am expecting a visitor I clean like mad. Besides the basics like a swept floor, clean toilets and dusting, I tend to get right into those little areas - areas that people will probably not even look at...the closets, microwave, in between the stove and the counter (tons of crumbs), under the sink. By the time I am finished, my house is pretty well spotless. I feel good, satisfied and ready to have the visitors over. Now as people start coming in and making a mess, it honestly doesn't bother me. They saw my clean house and the rest is history. I do notice when things fall on the floor and get out of place, but it really doesn't bother me.

A friend and I were chatting about this whole clean house thing yesterday. She mentioned how one of her close friends always has people over at her place. Her house is always full and people always feel comfortable and welcome. My friend also mentioned that this friend of hers' home is not spotless - it's lived in and messy - a normal messy. I don't know what colour her walls are or whether or not she has candles lit for ambiance, but...I'm guessing not. When it all comes down to it, all those little things that make a warm atmosphere are great and may look nice, but that's all they are. They are not going to make people flock to your place. What I think WILL do that is a combination of many things. I think number one would be - YOU! What warm feelings do you give off? Are you friendly, kind, welcoming, inviting? Do you have snacks and food? What about your house? Is it so clean that people feel like they cannot take one step without feeling as though they messed something up? Do you give people "the eye" when they drop crumbs on the floor? Or do you glance down at the mess they just made?

I've been thinking and wondering about this. I wholeheartedly want people to feel so welcome and comfortable at my place, and I hope they do. But I don't know. I think that I need to lighten up on the cleaning. I don't want to be that person who scans the room for messes while people are chatting away at the table...or leans down to pick crumbs off the floor in the middle of conversation (which I did on Saturday!). I don't want people to feel like they have to apologize a million times for the mess they have left behind.

So this is what I'm gonna do. I'm going to have people over and keep it simple. My toilets will be clean, the floors swept up...well maybe...and well, I don't know. It won't be spotless. Ahhh, I am getting all anxious just thinking about that. I don't even know if I can do it.

Well, I will totally keep you posted. In the meantime, what are your thoughts on this whole subject? Do you think that people feel more comfortable in a clean home or a messy and lived in home? Do you think it even makes a difference? What else do you think make people feel comfortable in your own home?

You know what I think? I just realized something. No matter what your house looks like or how messy or tidy you keep it, if you are comfortable in your home - then everyone else will probably be too. You know? If your house is really piggy and you are totally okay with that and you're not apologizing every 2 minutes for the mess...then people will just be like, okay if she don't care, then why should I? O.k. I really have no idea. I probably should have thought this through a little more before posting my thoughts on this.

This is me thinking and processing.

Fun, Friends and Scattergories...(and cheating)

2007-01-21T09:56:00.000-05:00

Last night we had some good friends over - Stuart, Sarah + kids, and Steve, Suzie + kids. We ordered pizza, drank tea (Oolong), talked and talked...and then we sat down to play Scattergories. Sarah played really well - she won! Way to go Sarah! Susie and I tied in bottom place :-(

Our plan yesterday was to go tobogganing together, but it was so cold so we decided to skip the outdoor fun and get together at our place. I must say that these two families are some of the kindest, most thoughtful and nicest families we know. They are a lot of fun and it's always a pleasure to spend time with them. Aerie and I are very blessed to have so many wonderful friends in our lives.

So anyway, back to that game! Ok, I did cheat a little. It wasn't so funny this time though. There are not a whole lot of subtle ways to cheat at this particular game - ESPECIALLY when everyone is watching you like a hawk! Twice during the game Susie had to tend to her children, so the game was put on pause. We paused the timer, closed our books and waited. A few times I took a quick peek inside my book when I thought nobody was looking, but Stuart saw me every single time. I wasn't doing very well, so I needed a little help! Scattergories is not my best game - I've never been great at it.

Anyway! Then the unthinkable happened. Someone rolled the letter "D" but for some reason I thought it was the letter "N". So I wrote my list of N words. I couldn't believe that! And needless to say, I wasn't happy. I knew the game was so over for me. I was in a bad mood after that which brings me to believe that I am a sore loser. I love to win, but I really hate losing; I can dish it out, but I can't take it. It's so true. I've never really been physically strong, but I am tough and I love to fight and start things that I can't finish but as soon as I get hurt - that's it for me. I get upset. What is up with that? Maybe I am still PMS'ing. He-he-he! Can't blame everything on that.

So anyhow, I don't really have a point here.

Oh! I do want to say something else that I just remembered! I need a vote on this one!!! These guys were trying to give me a "thumbs down" on a certain word that I wrote for a LEISURE ACTIVITY. I wrote that MOON WALKING was a leisure activity. Can you believe that they didn't think that moon walking could be a leisure activity??? I know how to moon walk, and I even told them sometimes I moon walk while I am watching TV - like to practice and stuff. I think it was a very creative answer! Maybe they were just upset that I had cheated and wanted to see me lose.

So I need some votes here! Moon walking = Leisure Activity - Thumbs up or thumbs down?

P.S: O.k. One more thing. The highlight of my evening was when we (I) tricked Stuart and put a hard boiled egg in his glass of milk, HEHEHEHEHE! He saw it though...well, the egg was still hot and pretty stinky, so his milk was lukewarm and kind of smelly. Oh that is so funny.

Without the kids

2007-01-19T07:32:00.000-05:00

Aerie's mom (Nanny) offered to pick up the boys last night and take them to Cosmic Adventures. The kids always love spending time with their nanny, and Aerie and I got to go on a little date. We've been needing some time to talk so we went over to Starbucks and got ourselves a delicious tea. We both tried one that we haven't tried before, Green Tea - Ginger (highly recommend that one).

It was relaxing and nice to just hang out. We went over our agendas for the next two weeks, we chatted, talked about our lists of goals, and then...PLAYED SCRABBLE!

I started the game really believing that I would not cheat. I wanted to win fair and square. Well, sort of. I wanted to try anyway. While I was thinking of a word, Aerie saw Melissa and went over and said hello. The first thing she asked was "Is Tracy cheating over there?"

Aerie was gone for over 5 minutes and I could not find a word. Okay, let me rephrase that - I could find many words, but I could not find a GREAT word that was worth a lot of points. I was looking for the letter T. I reached in the bag, laughing to myself, and grabbed a few letters...NO "T"...ah! so then I saw Aerie walking back over and I just grabbed a handful of letters. The first thing he said was "You little stinker - you cheated didn't you!" I told him that I didn't (and he believed me). But then it was taking me sooooo long to find a great word so I dropped a hint and told him that I had too many letters to choose from. He didn't get the hint. Finally a few minutes later he glanced down at my box and saw that I had about 30 letters and he flipped out and said, "Game's over - I win!" He-he-he. But I actually won though because the letters that I used on the board were really all of my letters. I never actually used the big pile of letters that I sneaked. So I win, eh?

On our way out Aerie went over and said bye to Melissa and he told her that I cheated. She was the LAST person that I wanted him to tell. Read THIS and you will know why, he-he!

My odd, little quirks.

2007-01-18T14:20:00.000-05:00

So I have been PMS'ing for a few days now and I've been really emotional and moody. I know...gross. This morning Aerie and I were talking on the phone and he was like, "Are you on your period or what???" I felt like talking about me. I had done this really stupid questionaire online and the results really put me in a wacko mood. Click here if you want to test yourself. So I started to ask Aerie tons of questions. He was getting a little irritated by my questions...I must admit that I was being a royal pain...but anyway, he wrote out what he said to me because I begged him to. My mind doesn't absorb what people tell me - I need to see it to remember it. So this is what he wrote:

Tracy,

You are a planner. But you don't work well under stress.
You are not spontaneous.
You can't work under pressure.
Everything needs to be "EXACTLY" the way you want - or its not going to work.
You focus on the minute insignificant details more than anything else.

You are wonderful at completing a task, but it takes you 5 times longer than any other person I know.
Your effort is always appreciated, but it is not always necessary.

For example - Why spend 10 minutes fixing the boys hair if you are just going to put a hat on their head?
You can't make a meal unless you know every detail of the recipe - no wingin' it.
You can't let someone in our home without it being "SPOTLESS".
You are almost always late because you can't leave the house unless you are immaculatly groomed.

There are positives and negatives to each of these quirks you have.
I think you need to learn to choose your battles.

You don't need to spend more than 5 minutes getting ready to go buy groceries.
You can fix kids hair when we get there.
People don't care if the floor is washed before they come over to visit.
Some of the best recipes in the world are made by wingin' it.

I love you.

Hmmm, I do believe that what he wrote was very true, but now I sort of wish I wouldn't have asked him to tell me. I would like to justify my bizarre behaviour by hearing all about your quirks.

In His presence

2007-01-17T14:15:00.000-05:00

This past Monday was Women's Night at The Life Centre. To add an intimate touch to the evening, each of the women in our Lifegroup wrote out a word of encouragement into a card and gave it to someone. This is what God put on my heart to write. These words were inspired by something I read in my Mom's Devotional Bible.

"Joy is the most infallible sign of the presence of God. But where do you find Joy? You can find it in God's presence. If you want Joy, read your bible, not just the devotional. Read the actual words of God in the pages of the bible - a few small scriptures with your morning coffee. Remember them while you're in the shower, on your way to work, on your lunch breaks, before you turn out the lights at night. Joy comes when you adjust your perspective on life to God's. And that happens by reading his Word and spending time in his presence."

Today I realized something. I am very happy, but I am not joyful - there is a difference. I want to find Joy in all circumstances. I want Joy to bubble up from inside of me and rub off on my kids. For a split second this morning I thought to myself, "Well, how do I get Joy?" And I immediately answered my own question. In God's presence.

I haven't been spending any time in God's presence. I pray, I think of him often and thank him throughout my day, I open my bible while kids are eating, but I have not spent time in his presence in weeks - maybe even months. You see, God wants us to abide in him, not just visit him occasionally (John 8:31). Jesus will actually dwell, abide and make his permanent home in our hearts. His presence will cause us to be rooted deep in love so that we can experience Joy and the complete fullness of God.

My goal is to spend time in God's presence every day - whether it be 5 minutes or an hour.

The nine laws to staying lean for life!

2007-01-17T10:37:00.000-05:00

Aerie gets a newsletter for Outdoor Ottawa and this was one of the articles in the newsletter. It's probably one of the best articles I've read on weightloss. Check it out here.

. . .

"Not long ago, the secret to losing weight seemed straightforward: Just give up bread. Not long before that, it was all about avoiding fat. And when those theories sprung leaks, a long list of diet fads was there to fill the holes — cabbage soup, grapefruit, eating for your blood type ... the list goes on and on.

To help you stop diet-hopping, we've peeled away the layers of hype to reveal the core concepts and surprising science behind what really works for weight loss. Follow these nine laws for hitting that perfect number on the scale — and stay lean for life."

Frosty the Invincible

2007-01-13T10:35:00.000-05:00

Now wasn't yesterday (Friday) morning a beautiful day to play outside in the snow?! We all know that snow has to be the perfect consistency to be able to roll into a snowman. When I took a look outside Friday morning, I knew it was the day. It was so mild out...and very wet too.
So we all got bundled up and went outside on one very important mission - to make a snowman. The kids had SO much fun... and I think I had even more fun. This was our first snowman of the year!!! There was very little snow on the ground so we could only make a little snowman. After we finished, the boys suggested we give our snowman a name. Ethan blurted out, "I know mommy - FROSTY!" I suggested a few more original names, but they were really stuck on Frosty. So here is a photo of Ethan, Ty and their new friend Frosty.

Last night we left the house for a few hours and on our way home late last night it was raining. We warned the boys that Frosty would probably be all melted and assured them that we'd make another "Frosty" again when the snow was right.

Well, this morning when the boys woke up and looked outside...............Frosty was still standing!!!!! There was no snow anywhere else. He lost his eyes and smile, but the important thing is that Frosty is still alive! :-) He's like a SUPER snowman (he needs a cape)!!! I wonder if he'll be there all winter...hmmm...Frosty's little stump - I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Happy Birthday Ange...

2007-01-12T17:38:00.000-05:00

What is a Sister?

She is your mirror shining back at you with a world of possibilities.

She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best,

and loves you anyway.

She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who

knows when you are smiling, even in the dark. She is your teacher, your defense

attorney, your personal press agent, even your shrink.

Some days, she's the reason you wish you were an only child.

~Barbara Alpert~

If your sister is in a tearing hurry to go out and cannot catch your eye, she's wearing your best sweater. ~Pam Brown

More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you've been bad and good. ~Linda Sunshine

To have a loving relationship with a sister is not simply to have a buddy or a confident -- it is to have a soul mate for life. ~Victoria Secunda

Chance made us Sisters, hearts made us friends. ~Anonymous

If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child. ~Linda Sunshine

.
A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost. ~Marion C. Garretty

Having a sister is like having a best friend you can't get rid of. You know whatever you do, they'll still be there. ~Amy Li

God has blessed me again and again. Always a sister, always a friend.

A loyal sister is worth a thousand friends. ~Marian Eigerman

A sister is both your mirror -- and your opposite. ~Elizabeth Fishel

A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves—a special kind of double.

May all your wishes and dreams come to pass.

I love you, Ange.

Tracy

I loved my boring vacation

2007-01-08T14:21:00.000-05:00

I LOVE vacations! I look forward to them with anticipation. Earlier this year we made plans to go to Florida for Christmas, along with my whole family. My grandpa, aunts, uncles and cousins from my mom's side all live in Florida, and we haven't seen them in years. My grandpa Hawk has never even met Aerie or the kids. Anyway, we didn't make it for various reasons.

Aerie and I both had two weeks off over the Christmas holidays...and we had no plans. Unless you call "relaxing" a plan. Well, I guess it is. Aside from our little Christmas family visits, we didn't really do anything. Oh, we took the boys to Cosmic Adventures three times (their grandparents bought them each a membership for the entire year). Indeed we relaxed. I actually began to find myself bored! When I am on vacation from work, something seems to happen; I take a vacation from everything - from laundry, dishes, groceries, eating properly, exercising, blogging, makeup, cleaning. I have no motivation when I am on vacation. We sleep in until about 9:00 or 10:00 am, we eat breakfast late...so by 11:00 it feels like half the day is gone. I drag my heels all morning. The boys watch TV...play on the computer, play with their toys; I check my e-mail...sit on the couch. I have no motivation whatsoever. The first couple of days is fine...it feels good to just do nothing, but after the first week I really wanted to do something!!! I didn't have the drive to do anything though - even putting my makeup on was hard to do.

So I have been sort of dreading Monday, January 8th for over two weeks now...but now that it's finally here, I'm kind of happy it is. It was really nice to get back into our little daycare routine. Breakfast was all finished by 8:00...and we actually ate in the kitchen, as opposed to watching TV while we eat as we did throughout our vacation. We had our snacktime, sang some songs, learned some letters from the alphabet, had a storytime, played with Playdoh...it was GREAT! And I even got 3 loads of laundry cleaned. I'm excited about this week.

Vacation is so important though. I think everyone needs to take time away from their daily busy life and just rest. It is rejuvenating and it puts everything back into perspective.

I loved my boring vacation, but now I'm ready for everything to go back to normal. I feel refreshed and ready for all of life's adventures and challenges.

It's good to be back :)

Mimi

2007-01-07T00:24:00.000-05:00

I have been thinking a lot about death today. Someone very special to me died this past week - my Aunt Gerry. She is actually my dad's Aunt, but we always called her Aunt Gerry as well.

Every summer my sister and I spent a week at Aunt Gerry's (Mimi) house in Pembroke. Mimi had 3 children - Marc, Luke and Rochelle (my dad's cousins). We always had a really fun time at Mimi's place. Every year we looked forward to our little traditions; walking to the corner store to buy loads of candy, eating velveeta cheese in the box, before bedtime snack of little Normandie chocolate covered cookies, playing in the backyard with Mimi's neighbour Cheryl, sleeping in our cousins, Luke and Marc's, captain beds. Everything was an adventure at Mimi's place. We began our yearly visits to Pembroke when we were about four years old up until we were about twelve. One of our fondest memories was staying up late and playing cards with Aunt Gerry and Rochelle. We loved it!!!

Soon after we turned thirteen, we just stopped going. I'm not really sure why. We started to make friends in highschool and our summers just got busier. Years went by, and we thought about Aunt Gerry, but the busyness of life got in the way.

Over the past 15 years, the only time we really saw Aunt Gerry, Rochelle, Marc and Luke were at really significant occasions, like...funerals. Every few years someone passed away and we saw them. We always laughed and reminissed about the good old days and agreed that we should keep in touch. But years just kept going by and we would again meet at someone else's funeral.

Well, this time it was Aunt Gerry's funeral. Aunt Gerry may have been about 90 years old, but she was full of life. She was fun, mischevious - a little stinker! We really loved her. I still can't believe that she is gone. I sort of thought she would live forever. She was so young at heart.

My whole point here is that time should not have gotten the best of us. I should have made an effort to keep in touch with Aunt Gerry and visit her more often. I chose to let my busy life get in the way and now I am sort of left with some regrets.

I guess what I am trying to say is that if we love someone, we need to make time for them. A Christmas card once a year doesn't cut it for me. I can think of some friends and family members who I haven't gotten in touch with in a really long time, and today I've made a choice that no matter how busy I get, I am going to make time for the people that I care about. I'm not going to let the years slip by - not anymore.

Tracy, Mimi & Angela
This photo was taken the last time we saw her, 3 years ago.
I was 9 months pregnant with Ty.

A different mindset

2006-12-20T09:26:00.000-05:00

This week Aerie has been working really hard. He has a second job and has been taking some extra shifts, as well as working overtime in his day job. I just appreciate so much what he is sacrificing for us and I have been thinking of a way to bless him and show him how much I love him. I haven't really thought of anything yet. But anyway, last night he gets home from a long day at work at 7 pm and after a few minutes of being home he gives me a huge hug and kiss and he asks me what he can do for me to show me how much he loves me. I was like, "what? no no no...you have this backwards...I need to show you how much I love you!" Then he says, "I look around and all I see is your love for me - the house is clean, the dishes are done, supper is waiting for me, the boys are well behaved..."

And I just thought, wow this is what marriage is about; not taking...but giving - not concentrating on what we can get out of our marriage, but rather, what we can give. And it always comes back to us, doesn't it!?

Luke 6:38
Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

Risk Night

2006-12-18T21:45:00.000-05:00

What is "Risk Night" - some of you might ask? Aerie began hosting these last year and loves it! A bunch of guys just get together and play Risk until somebody wins. I thought it was just a "guy thing" in the beginning, so I would ask some of my girl friends over and we'd chat and eat while the guys played. But the last time we hosted a Risk Night, I decided to play & I loved it. I didn't necessarily love the game, but I am always up for the competition :)

What I love most about Risk nights is that it's different every single time. We always open the invitation to everyone and we end up with a different gang every time. No cliques. I can't stand cliques, so this is just great!

This time Steve + Susie, Stuart + Sarah and Bobby + Christine showed up. The guys played Risk...and we ladies decided to play something else. Well, we tried to anyway, HE-HE! It was late - we were all tired - couldn't concentrate enough to read the instructions to play Mad Gab... or Cranium - so we laughed, and laughed, and laughed about everything. I had so much fun with these girls!!! I wish I could remember more... but I can't. So Sarah, Susie & Christine - you girls will all have to leave a comment and tell us about all the fun you had on Friday night too!

Christine, Sarah, Tracy + Susie
...we laughed a lot

Christine, Sarah, Tracy, Susie +
her little Zoe

Steve, Stuart, Aerie + Bobby

Steve, Stuart, Aerie (rolling -
the dice) + Bobby

A little Friday morning funny...

2006-12-15T07:54:00.000-05:00

A man in Newfoundland called his son in Calgary two days before Christmas and said, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son replied.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father said. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so I want you to call your sister in Vancouver and tell her."

Frantic, the son called his sister, who exploded on the phone. "No way they're getting divorced!" she shouted, "I'll take care of this!"

She called Newfoundland immediately and screamed at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced!! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there by tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing. DO YOU HEAR ME?" and she then hung up.

The old man hung up his phone and turned to his wife. "Okay," he said, "they're coming for Christmas and paying their own way."

Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha! Funny, eh?

So much to do!

2006-12-14T08:20:00.000-05:00

I've been busy lately - too busy. I have huge list of things that just have to be done, and my Christmas cards is one of them. Every year we send out between 70-80 Christmas cards and I am running behind this year. So anyway, Aerie comes home last night and tells me that he's been thinking and has decided that he needs to prioritize. I'm like, "great idea!" Then he asks me what he can do to help me. Christmas cards seem to be the big one because they are really time consuming and we want to get them out before Christmas. So after the kids are all tucked into bed, Aerie takes out his glue stick and starts glueing stamps on the envelopes (he has like a million previously used, unstamped stamps) and writing our return address on the envelopes as well.

When he is finished that, he asks me what he can do next, and offers to start baking some cookies while we are doing the cards. I tell him that it's not a good idea because it's too late, and so I tell him that he can wrap up some of the Christmas gifts - and he does. While he is wrapping he starts asking little questions like, "Okay this is for Jaden, who do we put it from? Ethan & Ty or all of us"...I'm like, "I don't know, put Ethan and Ty". Then he says, "What colour of wrapping paper should I use?"...I say, "Use all three"..."What colour of pen should I use?"... So, now I'm starting to give some attitude. I know Aerie just knows that I like things a certain way and I guess he just doesn't want to screw up...but I feel like a mom at this point. All of a sudden he says, "Wow, you're really grumpy!" The truth is, I'm really tired. It's midnight and we are not even half way through our cards.

So Aerie comes back over to the table where I am sitting and starts adding more stamps to the envelopes that I've completed. THEN he starts to do something! He licks the envelopes shut! But along with that came this most disgusting sound of slobber as he licked each envelope. Everytime he did it (about 60 times) I looked up at him with a face of disgust. I'm starting to get real irrritated by this noise and I'm like, "Ugh! Do you have to make that noise - what is that????"

Then he says this to me. "Tracy, how many husbands do you think would sit here and do Christmas cards with their wives, especially at 1:00 in the morning!" Then he starts going through names of husbands that we know and he's like, "Name me ONE guy that you think would do this?"..."And you're giving ME attitude for making noise while I lick the envelopes?"..."You don't know how good you've got it".

We both burst out laughing uncontrollably. It really put things into perspective for me. My mom told me when Aerie and I got married seven years ago to not take Aerie for granted. Aerie is a giver. He is selfless - always thinking about others before himself. He does things to make me happy and take the load off of me - things that I know not many other husbands would do, and although I never really thought I took him for granted, I am realizing that some of the things he does for me/us - I do take for granted. Aerie and I have always made it a priority to be polite to one another behind closed doors. We say thank you & please all the time, and we believe that it is a wonderful model for our boys. We can tell them to say thank you and please, but ultimately they are going to do what we do, right? Even though I say please and thank you to Aerie, sometimes I find that maybe I just do it out of habit. Last night while he was handing me piles of stamped Christmas cards, I said thank you each time, but I don't know if I really, really understood the sacrifice he was making for me - simply out of love. He just loves me and wants to spend time with me. I think that's so sweet.

I have a question. I would LOVE to hear from anyone who knows or IS a husband who would actually DO all these things that I've described here. Just so that I can tell Aerie that he's not the only one :)

Getting to know Aerie + Tracy

2006-12-12T08:49:00.000-05:00

Tracy's Answers:

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot chocolate
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Wraps them in pretty paper and ribbon
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Just simple white lights
4. Do you hang mistletoe? You know, we don’t hang one but I would love to!
5. When do you put your decorations up? The first week of December (right after my birthday)
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? My mom makes a mean Turkey dinner. I really love turkey with stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy. Oh! And meat pie!
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: I’m not really sure, there are so many. One would be going into the forest every year and picking out the best possible Christmas tree. My dad always made it really fun for us.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I remember this one day when I was about 12 or 13, my mom and I were downstairs and she told me that Santa didn’t exist. I was so mad! I couldn’t believe that they deceived me all of these years and I felt like a real idiot. I must have had some idea before she actually verbalized that, but I don’t know; this is just what I remember.
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? We celebrate Christmas Eve at my parents’ place, so we open all of the gifts from just on my family’s side.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? I have wicker balls with tiny white lights inside all throughout our tree, little wicker ornaments, red balls and a star on top. Very simple. I want to add a new colour; I was thinking of an olive green.
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Mixed feelings on that. I enjoy looking at the snow from inside cozied up in front of the fireplace. I don’t like the cold, and getting the kids dressed up in snowsuits is a pain.
12. Can you ice skate? Yes I can. I used to figure skate and won a silver medal. But I don’t skate all that well now. I only go skating once or twice a year, so…
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? No. Every year my parents let my sister and I go and pick out a whole bunch of new clothes. So that is always exciting.
14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Spending time with family, giving gifts, time off work, the excitement of Christmas morning and most importantly – remembering Jesus’ birthday – the true meaning of Christmas.
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Turtle brownies – I make them every year. Do you want the recipe? They’re really soooooooooo delicious. I won’t be eating any this year though, but I will still make some.
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Placing a toy at the tip of the boys’ bed for Christmas morning.
17. What tops your tree? A silver star
18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving? Oh, I love both! I get more fulfillments out of giving though.
19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? I don’t know – like them all. But I really, really love my new Bluegrass Christmas CD that my friend, Is, bought me for my birthday!
20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum? Hmmm, they’re not yuck…liver & brussel sprouts are yuck! But they aren’t like really yummy either.

Aerie's Answers:

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Both
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? I am Santa, and I do both.
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Colored is more fun. White is more neat. The more lights the better.
4. Do you hang mistletoe? No. I like to just give a kiss for no reason.
5. When do you put your decorations up? After Tracy's birthday.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? All of them.
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: Waking up and looking at gifts at 3 in the morning when I was 10 years old.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I don't remember, I think I just figured it was impossible the whole time because we never had a fireplace and it didn't make sense how he could get in our home.
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Always.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? I get the decorations out and let Tracy tell me what matches and how things should look. She has the best eye for that stuff. If it was up to me we would have a very ugly looking tree.
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? I could live in a house made of snow. I love being outdoors.
12. Can you ice skate? Yes.
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? I don't.
14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Spending time with family, giving gifts, time off work, the excitement of Christmas morning and most importantly – remembering Jesus’ birthday – the true meaning of Christmas.
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? All of them.
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Turkey dinner.
17. What tops your tree? A silver star
18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving? Both. I get more fulfillments out of giving though.
19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? Silent night reminds me of the reason for the season, jingle bells reminds me of the weather, jingle bell rock reminds me of the fun of family getting together, white Christmas makes me think of Bing Crosby, All of them are great.
20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum? I'll eat a candy cane but I prefer a chocolate or a truffle.

Say CHEESE!!!

2006-12-11T15:12:00.000-05:00

In case you haven't already noticed, I LOVE photography! I love taking pictures and I love anything to do with photos. So naturally I love posting photos on my blog. I tend to go overboard in the picture department, as some friends and family can attest to. I have been known to e-mail a gazillion photos at a time. So, I figure that by posting them on my blog, I won't have to do that anymore...or as often :) HE-HE! 'Cause we all know that I'll never stop completely, right!

Ah, it's good to get that off of my chest.

Our early Christmas at Cassie + Luka's place

2006-12-11T12:15:00.000-05:00

This year Aerie's sister, Cassie, and her family are spending Christmas with Luka's family in Italy. So we decided to celebrate early! This past Sunday we incorportated four events into one special day; Christmas, my birthday, Amy-lee's birthday (15th) and Ty's birthday (20th).

We had a really fun day. We woke up early and drove to Montreal with my in-laws and Aerie's sister, Laura. We went to Cassie and Luka's church service, and then headed over to Cassie & Luka's adorable apartment. We don't get to spend all that much time with Cassie, Luka and Amy-lee, so it was really nice to all be together.

For those of you who know Cassie, she is doing great! Her and Luka are both managers at Starbucks and are extremely busy between working, serving in their church and taking care of their daughter, Amy-lee, who is almost 2 yrs old and an absolute doll!

It was a true blessing to spend our day with Aerie's family. Cassie and Luka made us such a beautiful meal - very yummy! And I was really impressed by Luka's Birthday cake...take a look at the picture. He DID that! I can't remember the Italian name for that cake...hmmm, sorry.

Do you know how blessed I am to have an amazing family myself, PLUS a just as amazing family on Aerie's side!? Our boys are so blessed to have two sets of wonderful Grandparents that love them so much and a bunch of cousins, and amazing Aunts and Uncles. I am just overwhelmed by it all. I thank God so much for my family; don't quite know what we'd do without them.

Biafore's - Pasina's - Murphy's

Aerie showing his sisters some love

Laura + Cassie / Luka cutting (killing) the cake :)

Amy-lee + Ty: What a cutie she is!!! This little sweetie
LOVES to dress-up! Everytime she pressed the button
on her little princess wand, she got so excited!

Ty / Ethan

Biafore's - trying to get at

least ONE good photo to

put in our Christmas cards

Impossible! The boys were

too tired to cooperate...

ohhh well.

Ok. Now Ethan is smiling,

but now Ty won't look at the

camera :)

Aerie + Trace xoxo

This is us waiting for Rose

to take our picture! He-he!

Angela...my beautiful sister and friend

2006-12-09T14:58:00.000-05:00

Today I want to share about someone who is very special to me; my sister. I’ve been blessed with not only a sister, but a sister who also happens to be my very best friend.

Ange and I are only two years apart and we have been inseparable since birth. We’ve been through our share of fights growing up – that’s life – but one thing we have never struggled with as sisters is jealousy. We have never felt the need or desire to compete with each other. We knew that we were both different in so many ways, but loved equally by our parents. We have never envied each other, but rather, we’ve celebrated each others’ individuality and strengths.

I have a bond with my sister that goes deep and can never be broken. I love her so much and I’m so grateful to have her in my life.

Ange and I are alike in many ways. We share many of the same interests such as: fitness, fashion, decorating, shopping, reading magazines, singing, watching shows like American Idol, eating chocolate and McDonalds… We have even been told on a number of occasions that we look like twins; we’ve been told on an equal amount of occasions that we look nothing alike. We share many of the same mannerisms and our husbands and parents even get our voices confused over the phone. Another quality that we share is our humour; we always seem to laugh at things that other people don’t find that funny. Even when we are watching a movie or something, we will burst out laughing at all the same parts while everyone else is quiet. When Ange and I are together, we always laugh, always have fun and always have so much to talk about. My sister is the ONLY person that I can think of who I can stand talking on the phone to for hours. Time flies when we’re talking. We even do fun things like e-mail each other cute clothes and styles that we like while we are talking on the phone.

Ange is one of the most conscientious and determined people that I know. No let me rephrase that, she is definitely THE most determined person I know. When she sets her mind to something or makes a goal, I am always amazed at how dedicated she is to achieving that goal. All of our lives I have seen Ange set a goal and accomplish it. This inspires me to do the same. I am determined in some areas, but most of the time I am swayed easily and really unfocused. Ange is totally focused and I love that about her. She loves to makes lists. Oh yes, my sister is a true "beaver".

Ange is also one of the funniest people I know - like HILARIOUS! (I am the funniest person I know, so she comes in second there, he-he...and Lori, you are very funny too!) She loves to make people laugh, in fact, she thrives on that. When she starts, she cannot stop. My sister has a shy side to her, but as soon as she feels comfortable and opens up – watch out!!! She could really be a comedian! Last year I had a girl’s night at my place and I just invited about 10 of my close friends. They didn’t all know each other, and that made it interesting. While we were eating dinner, my sister was amusing us all with her humour. I almost peed my pants laughing. She is so funny!

When Ange makes a good friend, they are friends for life. She is honest, trustworthy, dedicated, fun, sincere, encouraging and a beautiful friend. She loves her family with ever fiber of her being. She is the most dedicated wife and mom that I know, and she loves with all of her heart.

I love you sister and even if we were not sisters, I would still want you as my best friend.

...and now for some funny pictures :) These photos were taken last week on my birthday. Actually, at that Christmas IBEW party that I was telling you about.

My Special Day

2006-12-06T14:41:00.000-05:00

Monday (December the 4th) was my birthday. On Sunday I celebrated my birthday with some of my favourite people; Aerie, my parents, my sister, brother in law, niece and nephew and my two sweeties - Ethan & Ty. We had such a fun time! On Sunday morning we went to an annual Christmas party held by the IBEW (my dad's work)... and I'll probably post some of those pictures later. Afterwards we headed over to my parents' place for some pizza & cake. I love my family. I think I have the best family!

So the following day...on my actual birthday, Aerie gave me the best gift ever! He gave me a day off. While I slept in and headed out to the mall to spend all the money that I was blessed with on my Birthday, he took care of 5 cranky kids! He is so great with the kids and they all ADORE him! What an amazing husband I have, eh!

I had a perfect day on my own. I haven't been shopping in a very long time, so it was a real treat and I feel so very blessed. I also had a dentist appointment that day, but I was very happy because I didn't even get ONE cavity! Yay! I got a big headache after I left the dentist office (that always happens), but that didn't stop me from staying out until 8:00 pm!!!! Wooooo hooooo!

Here are a few photos of me with my incredible family. On a side note, do you remember the days when your cake was all yours to blow out? Yep, after you have kids your cake is never really your cake. But that's ok. I may have blown one of those candles out this year.

Ty, Jaden, Mommy, Ethan

Amber-lee, Ty, Jaden, Ethan
and Mommy

Oh, they love this!

Mommy & Ethan

I love this picture!
Aerie is such a nut.

Tracy, Ange & Mike

Tracy, Ange & Mike (he's not
really picking his nose).
He's going to be really
embarassed when he finds
out that I've posted this
photo. HE-HE!

P.S: Can you GUESS how old I am?
P.S.S: Who looks younger - me or my sister?

Sleep

2006-11-28T14:15:00.000-05:00

UPDATE! I know last week I said that my goal was to get to sleep by 10:00 pm, but I'm sorry to admit that I just can't. I don't know why? In fact, I've being going to sleep even LATER since I've decided to make an early betime a goal. On Sunday night I went to bed at 4:30 am...I woke up at 6:30 am and then got to bed last night at 11:00 pm (<- which is not THAT bad I guess). I'm tired though...I don't really have problems getting to sleep once I'm in my bed...aside from all the thoughts racing through my BRAIN! AHHHHH! What is wrong with me?

Anyway, how important is sleep anyway??? Is it really THAT important? This is what I read about the...

Benefits of sleep:

Sleep is an important function of good health. Just as cholesterol and blood pressure are good indicators of overall health, so too is healthy sleep.

Research shows that the body restores itself during sleep. As we sleep, tissue grows and repairs itself and the immune system is strengthened. The brain may also repair itself during sleep and researchers believe sleep is critical to healthy brain function. In fact, researchers also believe the brain performs actions vital to learning and memory during sleep. Sleep can also affect the levels of hormones and other important chemicals circulating in your body

Do you know what happens when you sleep?

A good night's sleep actually consists of different stages and levels of sleep. In sleep clinic studies, people have been connected to an electroencephalograph (EEG) machine that measures electric brain activity. An EEG allows us to see when there is a lot of brain activity and when the mind is at rest.

From recording brain activity and monitoring other bodily functions, scientists now divide a night of sleep into two general phases. Together, these two phases form one complete sleep cycle that lasts approximately 90 minutes. You go through two to five of these cycles in a typical night's sleep.

PHASE 1 - The first general phase of sleep consists of 4 stages and is called Non-Rapid Eye Movement sleep, or NREM.

Stages of NREM Sleep:

Stage 1: When you first fall asleep, you enter the lightest stage of sleep. It's really a bridge between wakefulness and deep sleep, and you can be easily awakened during this time. Your senses are muted, so you won't be bothered by light sounds. However, loud noises - a car alarm, slamming door or crying child - can wake you up.

Stage 2: Since no loud noises woke you up, you now travel into a deeper sleep. During this stage your heart rate evens out and your body temperature drops. This stage accounts for roughly half of an average night’s sleep.

Stages 3 and 4: Stages 3 and 4 are the deepest phases of non-REM sleep and represent about 15% of a total night’s sleep. During these combined stages of sleep, your blood pressure falls, your body temperature continues to drop and your breathing slows. The noises that might wake you during stage 1 sleep do not rouse you during these later, deeper stages of sleep.

PHASE 2 - Most people have heard of the second general phase of sleep - Rapid Eye Movement sleep or REM.

REM Sleep:

After approximately 30 minutes of deep sleep in non-REM stages 3 and 4, we begin to cycle back through stages 2 and 1 until we enter the period of REM sleep. The brain activity during REM sleep is similar to brain activity during wakefulness. Dreaming is common in REM sleep.

So then...

What is a Good Night's Sleep?

When you get a good night's sleep, you wake up feeling restored, refreshed, alert and ready to face the day ahead. Good sleep is restorative. It allows us to be more effective and productive in our jobs and daily lives as well as in our personal relationships. Good sleep also enhances our quality of life. It helps us to feel good and have a sense of well-being throughout the day.

You've probably heard the magic number is 8 hours a night. In truth, different people have different sleep needs. If you wake up feeling refreshed, then you received the correct amount of sleep.

Just as we all recognize the benefits of a good night's sleep, we all know how it feels to have slept poorly. For most people, even a few nights of reduced sleep can have a dramatic impact on their well being. In all, more than 40% of adults experience daytime sleepiness severe enough to interfere with their daily activities. Additionally, long term sleeplessness has been associated with depression, obesity and other mental health disorders.

Just Having Some Fun

2006-11-27T02:19:00.000-05:00

Aerie and I celebrated our 7th Year Anniversary on September 18th. We went to our favourite restaurant - Lonestar. Here are a couple of videos we took while we were eating.

Something New...

2006-11-26T17:25:00.000-05:00

Do you like the new look? I was looking for a festive Christmas look, but couldn't find one, so...I ended up with this. I will try it for a few days and maybe go back to my old look. I'm not sure yet, it's nice to have a change though. I would love to custom my own blog, but I have NOOOOOOOO idea how to do that. Anyway!

Tracy

A little Bit About Me...

2006-11-24T22:39:00.000-05:00

Name:
Tracy Lee Biafore

About Me:
About 7 years ago I married Aerie – and God could not have blessed me with a more perfect person for me. We have two boys, Ethan (4 yrs old) & Titus (2 yrs old). Almost two years ago I took a leave of absence from my job at Correctional Service Canada, and I have been privileged to be home with my boys ever since. I am running a home daycare and will continue to do so until the boys are in school full-time.

What else would you like people to know?
Hmmm…Well I never answer the telephone when Aerie is home (I’m not really a phone person).

Passions:
There are many things that I love like; being with my family & friends, everything to do with fitness, nutrition, health and natural medicine. I love shopping, fashion, decorating, photography, e-mail, and doing crafty things like making cards. But my biggest passion is making people feel loved–special–encouraged. I am completely content as I take time to make someone a special card – I cannot even put into words how fulfilling that is to me. Blessing someone with a special gift, ah, I could do that all day. That would be my dream job. Like, when Oprah blesses her audience with tons of stuff on her “Favorite Things” show…I cry & cry…I would LOVE to do that! (I wouldn’t mind being on the receiving end too, he-he!) Or I would totally love to be one of those people on the show, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, where they bless hurting people or less fortunate people with such GRAND things! I’m thinking big here, but in reality, I believe that the littlest things make big differences too. I like to believe that my simple little cards or little acts of kindness make people feel special and loved in a big way too. That’s what gets me out of bed in the morning!

One lesson life has taught me:
A special person one told me, “Life is too short to get angry.” I used to be a pretty bitter woman; easily angered, very impatient, self consumed, controlling and bossy. My husband, Aerie, is the complete opposite of those things. Aerie is the most patient, kind, easy-going, simple and selfless person I have ever met. He’s got a longgggggggg fuse. We’ve been married for seven years and I can count on one hand the number of times he has blown up or lost control. I truly believe that if I would have married someone other than Aerie – somebody who was more like me – I would have driven that person away a long time ago.

I used to like to push Aerie’s buttons, pick fights…I was a tough one to live with. I can remember hurting him with my razor sharp words. Aerie always turned the other cheek, he always loved me, and he never got angry or raised his voice. And you know…that used to really tick me off! So I would try harder to upset him. He always responded in love – “I love you Tracy – I’m going for a walk.” This one day I said, “Aerie – get mad at me!!!!” He said to me, “Trace, life is too short to get mad. Really, what’s the point? What do we gain from getting angry?” Then he went on to tell me how he felt and how much I hurt him when I said those things to him. Hearing him verbalize that really opened my eyes. I think that all of this happened in our first year of marriage. There were a lot of adjustments we both had to make and one of the hardest for me was having a new ‘step-daughter and ex-girlfriend’ to accept. I realize now that one of the reasons why I was so easily angered back them was because I didn’t know how to properly communicate and share my feelings – this was the only way I knew to express myself.

Aerie and I developed awesome communication and to this day that is one of our strengths as a married couple. We have our disagreements, but we talk things through, we don’t harbor bitterness or keep things pent up inside – and we always try to do this before our heads hit the pillow.

Something not many people know about me:
I’m a “flossaholic”! This all began a few years ago - that unforgettable moment when my dentist told me that I had 15 cavities!!! Yes, ‘1-5’ – fifteen.

What are your thoughts on plastic surgery?
It’s such a personal choice and I would never judge someone for choosing that route. But, as tempting as a tummy tuck would seem sometimes, I personally would not consider plastic surgery. Aerie & I were actually talking about physical appearances recently. Yeah, we’re not in the same shape we were in 5 years ago - love handles, saggy skin…you know. But as Aerie said, “Physically, we’re only getting uglier & we’re going to get uglier together J” Aerie loves my heart – he loves what’s inside….we don’t care about each others’ wrinkles and bulges. I’ll be the first to admit that I work hard on trying to “look” good. I work out regularly, I eat well and you know…makeup & hair dye really do wonders. Although I do want to look good for my husband, essentially I’m doing all of that for me. When I am confident in who I am and how I look – no matter what size I am or how many wrinkles I have – that makes me feel great (and look great to my husband). Plastic Surgery only fixes the outside – true beauty comes from within.

P.S: I wouldn’t want to get older and “uglier” with anyone else besides Aerie : )

Hmmm...

2006-11-24T18:35:00.001-05:00

Someone told me that my profile picture is goofy. I won't name any names...but you know who you are :-) !!!! So anyway, this person suggested I change my pic. So...I don't quite know what to do. I mean, I like this photo. The chocolate brown sweater I am wearing totally matches the brown bar at the top of my blog page...(anyone notice that????)

This person ALSO said they didn't like the puke green background colour on my blog. Green. I was like, what green? This is not green. Do you think this is green? I think it's more of a sandy, camel colour. Maybe it's my computer...I can't really say for sure. I didn't think I was colour blind.

What colour is my blog page????????

Dealing With It

2006-11-23T12:36:00.000-05:00

A few ways that I have learned (and am learning) to deal with the stress in my life:

. . .

Quiet time with God praying & reading
Quiet time on my own just doing something little like sitting somewhere with a cup of tea and a magazine.
Deep breathing
Exercise
Talking about the things that are overwhelming me with Aerie or the people in my life that I am close to.
Lifegroup - just going to our group, laughing & talking with new and old friends gets my mind off of my own problems. All the laughs I shared last night with Lori, Sarah, Susie and Cory were so therapeutic. I hadn't laughed that hard in a very long time.
Listening to music - especially when the words ring Truth. I am listening to this one song by Jonny Lang...and I listen to it over and over and over. It's called On My Feet Again. I really love the words and it has an amazing beat.

. . .

I'm always searching for ways that I can deal with my stress, but these are some of the things that I have been doing regularly that help me a great deal.

Just Do It!

2006-11-23T10:38:00.000-05:00

My focus has always been on the “eating right” and “exercising” aspects of health. I have never really seen the big picture…until now.

When I learned that I had Candida, I sort of felt like, okay, I will do the Candida diet, get better and then go back to living my life. I have failed over and over again; the whole binging and fasting cycle. I have felt like I had hit rock bottom and that there was no hope for me, I have felt isolated and frustrated beyond measure. Thank God! Literally – I thank God because I could not be doing this without Him and the special people He’s placed in my life. I could never do this in my own strength and I am reminded of that daily.

In the past year I’ve been dealing with food issues – why do I eat? Why do I binge? Why am I so extreme?…and my self-esteem is a big one! I realized that if I want to live a healthy and fulfilling life, then I need to make some life changes. How much does that cheesecake or chocolate mean to me? I mean, it tastes like heaven ; ) BUT it brings out the worst in me. Eating that way makes me unhappy, it makes me do and say things that I regret – it makes me depressed. I’m not saying that I won’t ever be able to eat sugar, but at this time in my life, I am choosing LIFE. And simply making that decision makes everything else easier.

Eating right and staying away from many of the foods that I love is one huge factor in getting rid of Candida. In fact, it’s a must. Herbs, antifungals and probiotics have become a regular part of my Candida protocol as well. But did you ever think that STRESS or LACK OF SLEEP could contribute to our physical ailments? Absolutely!!!! I am a big worry wart. Seriously, I worry about everything and I hate that I’m like that. I am always thinking, and sometimes I even have trouble sleeping because I can’t stop thinking about everything. I go to bed really late and I’m up early; 5-6 hours of sleep every night doesn’t cut it for me. I admit that I have a hard time dealing with the stress in my life.

My personal goal over the past month has been to get to bed by 10:00 pm. I have not accomplished that goal – not even once! I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to just put myself to bed. As for the stress, like many people, I am a shallow breather, so I have recently been learning about deep breathing, which I've started doing. And another little tidbit of information…did you know that Candida (and other ailments) cannot survive in a highly oxygenated environment? So anything that increases the amount of oxygen in the body will help. This includes deep breathing and aerobic exercise. Exercise is not just to burn calories and work our hearts!!!!

So my challenge to you is this. How do you think you can move toward wellness? I challenge you to make a goal...just one goal and see where it takes you. Every little change makes a difference. Do you want to quit smoking, stop overeating, stay away from fast food, eat more fruit and vegetables, drink more water, get more sleep, laugh more, build a sense of purpose in your family or personal life, run a marathon!!!! Anything! There is only one thing stopping you from achieving your goals and becoming healthier in all three dimensions - and that is YOU! You need to make the decision. Sometimes we just have to put our foot down and say, NO! I'm not going to self-destruct - I can do this and I will!

This is a lifetime process, but now is the time to start! Remember, on the wellness continuum there is no standing still. Each day either you are moving toward wellness or toward illness.

How WELL do you think you are?

2006-11-22T23:48:00.000-05:00

Sorry to leave you hanging like that. I have been struggling with this whole Candida story that I’m blogging on here. I have come a long way, but I am not there yet and part of me feels like I should wait until I am actually all better to talk about it.

I have learned a lot about Candida through the years, and it excites me when I learn something new every day. Health and Nutrition have become a passion in my life. I read about health issues every single day and I just can’t get enough of it! But really “health” is not just about eating right – health is a combination of many things.

There are three key dimensions in our lives; physical, bio-chemical and psychological. The Physical dimension is basically how we use our bodies; strength, cardio vascular system, lung capacity, exercise, chronic conditions, and even sleep habits. The Bio-Chemical dimension is what we Do and Don’t put into our bodies – what we put into our bodies is important, however what we don’t put into our bodies can also be very important; water consumption, smoking, alcohol, drugs, food addictions, protein and carbohydrate balance, balance of fruit and vegetable, processed vs. whole foods, skipping meals, things that we don’t have much control over like chemical exposure, as well as your body fat percentage level and your BMI (Body Mass Index). The third dimension is the Psychological Dimension; Mind/Body Connection. Many people don’t realize how psychological stress will translate into physical ailments. How do you react to stress, your feelings of anxiety and your feeling of control over various parts of your environment? Some aspects of the psychological dimension are; Defining your purpose, creating a healthy family, healthy relationships, career, self-esteem, eliminating anxiety, relaxation techniques, organizing your home, your time and your finances.

We could be doing pretty well in, say, two of those dimensions, but if we are lacking in another dimension then we are not living in overall wellness. Health (wellness) is a lifetime journey...it is something that we have to work on for the rest of our lives. Each day we are either moving toward wellness or toward illness.

How well would you like to be?

Part 2: The Beginning Of My Journey With Candida...

2006-11-19T00:50:00.000-05:00

So here I was given this idea that I could have Candida. I wanted to know more about this, and so I began doing some research. Within a couple of weeks, I was tested to see if I had Candida by a having simple blood test (Candida Stain). I also had the VEGA Allergy Testing done. I was given a detailed list of all of my food and environmental allergies. I found out that I was highly sensitive to ALL the things that I loved to eat; sugar (and artificial sweeteners), cheese, wheat, all dairy products, cocoa, vinegar, tomatoes, yeast, oranges, grapefruit, broccoli, cantaloupe, plums…just to name a few. Having this list was great because it gave me some direction. I knew that my first step was to avoid these foods that made me feel so ill. For all those who know me well, I am a chocoholic, and I love pizza! Like, I love those things. I have craved these foods for as long as I can remember.

So once I had my testing done, which confirmed that I had Candida, our chiropractor put me on an ultra strict anti-Candida diet, which consisted of egg whites, oatmeal, Whey Protein Isolate, fish/chicken/meat, almonds, and vegetables. That’s it. I also had popcorn (not the microwave stuff) for a snack. I was taking digestive enzymes, an antifungal (caprilic acid), a good probiotic, and vitamins. It was difficult, but I did this for almost 2 months. I felt SO good - better than I had felt in a long time. My mind felt clear, I no longer felt irritable or depressed, I had energy again, and I was not bloated. The way that I was feeling gave me the determination to keep going. Eating was no longer fun though. I was always eating the same things, day after day. I started to feel nauseous at even the thought of eating another piece of chicken or salmon.

I was doing so well on this plan…but then I cheated. I was amazed though because I felt like I had control over my food…I wasn’t craving the sweets or breads anymore and I felt disciplined. Then a few weeks later, Christmas came around I “allowed” myself some sweets. One thing led to another and the next thing you know I am binging on baked goods and chocolate…I think it’s all I ate for days. I couldn’t stop myself. Just thinking back to that time makes me tear up because I remember how hard it was, how depressed and out of control I felt. My binge lasted months…I couldn’t bring myself back once I started to eat all those things that were in fact feeding that horrible Candida beast living inside my intestines. I gained about 10 pounds and obviously my Candida flared up, in fact it was worse than ever. I felt like such a failure – I felt like all that ground that I gained was just gone. I felt hopeless. Many times I tried to go back on the Candida diet, but I would binge on sugar or something on the second day. Like I said, the thought of eating salmon, chicken, oatmeal, and even popcorn made me want to puke.

I eventually did, but I'll tell you about that later :)

. . .

To be continued…

Candida Yeast Test

2006-11-16T13:54:00.000-05:00

Do you think you might have a problems with Candida Yeast? Click here to try this simple test at home.

Part 1: What On Earth Is Going On?

2006-11-16T07:07:00.000-05:00

A few years ago I started to notice some extreme things happening to me - and to my body. I would wake up in the morning and I would look and feel pretty normal, but then soon after I awoke I would get really bloated - so much that I looked about four months pregnant. Aerie started to notice the bloating and it was then that I realized that the bloating, that was frustrating me so much, was not just in my head - it was very real, and I knew that I had to get to the bottom of this.

For as long as I can remember I have always been an avid exerciser and I have always made fitness a priority in my life. So I had no clue why, despite all of the time and effort that I put into my workouts, I still could not lose weight in my stomach. I always felt really bloated and fat. I was chronically fatigued, moody, and irritable, couldn't concentrate, I experienced waves of mild depression, itchiness, and a great deal of brain fogginess. I had intense cravings for sweets and bread that were almost impossible for me to control. My cravings had total control of my life. The thing that bothered me the most was the bloating though. I would be fine one minute and then I would eat something and I would have to go change my pants because I couldn’t button them up anymore. I remember one day I ate a plum and I bloated up within 15 minutes and Aerie could not believe his eyes. This is when I noticed the food that I was eating was giving me a reaction, and that certain foods seemed to be more offensive than others.

I went to my doctor and she told me that I was fine; she couldn't explain the itchiness and bloating I was experiencing, and referred me to a specialist. I had tests and ultra sounds, but everything appeared just fine. My frustration only intensified. So I did some research on the net. I felt like I was chasing my tail - it was a very confusing and depressing time of my life.

Then one day something happened that brought me a sense of hope. After months and months of actively trying to figure out what on earth was going on with my body, Aerie came home with an answer...a possibility. He was seeing a new chiropractor for his back, and this one time that he went in, she was talking about the importance of strengthening our backs through abdominals (she is a competitive body builder). Anyway, Aerie told her about me; he mentioned to her that despite the amount of time that I focus on working out and strengthening my abdominals, I can’t seem to tone them and I am always bloated in my stomach. She began to ask Aerie what my other symptoms were and after discussing it, she told him that I may have something called Candida - which is a yeast overgrowth. As it turned out, Candida was something that our chiropractor specialized in.

. . .

To be continued...

It's not only fun - It's good for you!

2006-11-15T14:09:00.000-05:00

Therapeutic Benefits
of
Laughter

Here is a summary of how humour contributes to physical health.

. . .

Muscle Relaxation - Belly laugh results in muscle relaxation. While you laugh, the muscles that do not participate in the belly laugh, relaxes. After you finish laughing those muscles involved in the laughter start to relax. So, the action takes place in two stages.

Reduction of Stress Hormones - Laughter reduces at least four of neuroendocrine hormones associated with stress response. These are epinephrine, cortisol, dopac, and growth hormone.

Immune System Enhancement - Clinical studies have shown that humor strengthens the immune system.

Pain Reduction - Humor allows a person to "forget" about pains such as aches, arthritis, etc.

Cardiac Exercise - A belly laugh is equivalent to "an internal jogging." Laughter can provide good cardiac conditioning especially for those who are unable to perform physical exercises.

Blood Pressure - Women seem to benefit more than men in preventing hypertension.

Respiration - Frequent belly laughter empties your lungs of more air than it takes in resulting in a cleansing effect - similar to deep breathing. Especially beneficial for patient's who are suffering from emphysema and other respiratory ailments.

. . .

Faith, Hope and Love...

2006-11-10T14:49:00.000-05:00

When I was single I made myself a very detailed list of qualities that I dreamed of having in a husband. This guy had to be everything from outdoorsy to being sensitive to my physical and emotional needs during "that time of the month". I was very specific.

Aerie and I met about 10 years ago through his best friend...that I was dating at the time. Funny thing is that Aerie doesn't at all remember meeting me. Even then, there was always something about Aerie that attracted me to him. It was more than his charm and boyish good looks. He was mysterious, and I found that very attractive.

A few years later I remember seeing Aerie walk into the church - I was up on stage singing with the choir. Week after week, he caught my eye. To make a pretty detailed story short, one night a big gang of us went out to eat after church, as was the tradition back then. Aerie was sitting at a different table, and to get his attention, I casually threw a ketchup packet at his table. Aerie walked right over to me and said, "Does this belong to you?" He took my breath away. I was completely smitten. The rest is history :)

We had a fun yet complicated courtship. After 3 months of dating, we broke up for a few months. During those few months God did some amazing work in each of us and when we got back together we knew that it was God's perfect time. We also knew that we were completely in Love with each other and there was no doubt in our minds that we wanted to share the rest of our lives together. We were married 6 short months later.

When Aerie and I were dating, there were many qualities in Aerie that I Loved and that were on that list that I was talking about earlier. But through the years I have realized that he is even more than what I thought I wanted. I am amazed at just how perfect Aerie is for me. He is everything I have dreamed of and more. Honestly, there is not a day that goes by that I don't thank God for Aerie. We've been married for seven years and we are still on our honeymoon.

Aerie and I don't have a perfect marriage or a perfect life. But we have an unshakeable Love for one another. We know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is the foundation in our marriage. Without Him, we would not be who we are together today. God has carried us through harder times and he has shown us that if we stick together, and never lose focus of the goal, we can get through anything. We have learned to not put our Faith in material things; our Faith is in God and God alone. We could lose everything, sometimes it feels like we have hit a wall and there is no Hope, but God proves himself time and time again. We Biafore's are more than just a family - we are a team and we stick together, we lift each other up and Love each other unconditionally.

Our Family Mission Statement:

Hope to dream, Faith to believe, and Love always.

Through Mom's Eyes

2006-11-09T18:50:00.000-05:00

ETHAN DONALD:
First Born; 4 Years Old

Ethan is so Pure and uncomplicated. I see the Compassion, Love and Joy of God when I look at Ethan. Even as a baby he was always happy and smiling. People have always been drawn to him, he is so easy to love because he just loves people, he loves talking and interacting. Ethan is also very nurturing and sensitive. It just melts my heart when I see him hugging or taking care of his little brother or some of the daycare children.

TITUS HAWK:
Second Born; 2 Years Old

I had to really think about what Titus' Godly Attributes are, and this is only because Ty has such a strong character. Even as a baby he was independent, hard to read, strong-willed and just really grumpy. Because Ethan was so "easy" to handle, I was a little caught off guard when Ty came. Titus and I share many of the same qualitities and sometimes we butt heads as a result of that. I had to do lots of reading with Ty; you can't just do "go with the flow" parenting when you have a strong-willed child. My Ty thinks he is the boss - he knows that he isn't the boss at home, but oh he tries. Ty is a leader, loves to build, he is attentive to detail and very Creative. When you get passed Ty's outward characteristics that stand out so much, you get a glimpse of his tender, sweet and beautiful heart. Ty appears strong and independent, but he thrives on praise and he loves to be cuddled (on his terms) - he needs us more than we think he does sometimes. The Attributes of God that I see when I look into Ty's eyes are God's Faithfulness and Self-Sufficiency.

I have learned to appreciate each of my boys' unique qualities and love them for exactly who God has made them to be. They are both so different, but made so perfectly in Christ.

I feel like I am the most blessed Mom in the universe. I love my life and I wouldn't trade places with anyone!

***

I was inspired by Lori to write about which Attributes of God I saw in my children. I also would love to hear what Attributes of God you see in your children or someone that you love.

Love,
Trace

Why I LOVE Bluegrass Music!

2006-11-03T14:01:00.000-05:00

My friend Lori left a post in her blog the other day saying:

"I love Starbucks because it's more than coffee, it's an experience. We go to Starbucks as a family on a weekly basis. It's bonding and a fun outing for our kids and us. If we tell the kids we are going to Starbucks they all yell out YEAH! Nothing makes daddy more proud than to know that they appreciate Starbucks."

I think it's great that Jason and Lori do this with their children! I told Lori that I bet when her children are grown up and have their own children, they will also take their families on weekly Starbucks outings - and I'm sure it will bring them fond memories and a tradition that they will most probably want to share with their own children someday.

I think that when J & L tell the kids they're going to Starbucks, it's not necessarily Starbucks that the kids get all excited about, I think it's the experience - the bonding - special - quality time that they are sharing as a family...and probably the cookie!

In a funny sort of way, they are being "brainwashed" to love Starbucks! Right now they probably love it because mom & dad love it. But the experience of it all is going to take over one day - if it hasn't already.

Reading Lori's post on this made me think of special memories from my childhood that I still carry with me. BLUEGRASS. My dad "brainwashed" us at a very young age to love Bluegrass music. I always say that, but he didn't really brainwash us :) I remember my dad listening to Bluegrass music all the time when we were young, and he would play it really loud. He would sing along in this, oh so nasally & off-pitch tone as he picked his guitar to some Bluegrass tunes. Now I don't know if you guys have ever heard raw Bluegrass music before, but they really do sound like they're singing from their noses. Anyway, we would all laugh at the music. After a while we saw how much my dad loved it, and before we knew it we were singing these catchy tunes too. I fell in love with the experience. Not only was Bluegrass music happy music to me, but it made me feel safe too. I remember feeling so safe as I fell asleep at night listening to my dad picking his guitar and singing downstairs. My parents also took us to Bluegrass Festivals every year all over the States, rain or shine, and we'd camp out and have so much fun. I also remember many nights where my parents, brother and sister and I would sit around the table and sing in harmony while my dad would pick his guitar. We just had a great time, and to this day I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Bluegrass music....! Like, I love it! I fell in love with Aerie just a little more when he began to like it too...and our kids even love Bluegrass now. We take them to Bluegrass Festivals every year as well...and my parents, my sister and her family all come along. To Ethan & Titus, my dad is "Grandpa Bluegrass". When they see him they say "Grandpa Bluegrass, sing Froggy Went a Courtin'!" I love it, and I am so proud that my children appreciate Bluegrass. The photo that you see is of Grandpa Bluegrass and his two Bluegrass followers :)

Now if I were to ask Eth & Ty if they wanted to go to Starbucks or a Bluegrass Festival, I know they would say "BLUEGRASS FESTIVAL!!!" in a heartbeat. Jason and Lori's kids would probably say, "What's a Bluegrass Festival?"...and opt for the cookie...uhh, I mean the experience of Starbucks :)

Pure and Simple...

2006-10-26T14:50:00.000-04:00

I was reading one of my last posts where I shared about my challenges as a daycare provider. I was having a hard week and I don't at all regret what I shared with you all because I am only human, and I go through my rough days like everyone else. But I just want to let everyone know that yes, as challenging as running a daycare can be, there is a whole lot of wonderful things that I love about working with all these beautiful kids! Here are just a few of the reasons why I LOVE being a daycare provider:

- I am learning to appreciate all the simple things in life. Kids find joy in the simplest things...and a lot of that rubs off on me. For example, I say: "we're gonna make candy apples today" or "let's put our coats on and play outside" or "snack time!!!" or "who wants to colour!" or "let's go check the mail" ...and they all jump up and down and cheer - kind of like how we adults would act if someone handed us a million dollar cheque. The purest and simplest things excite these children.

- ALL the cuddles & hugs! I get tons of hugs X 5 every day!

- Not a day goes by where I don't laugh, smile or dance :)

- Imagine spending your entire day with people who think you're hilarious? Sometimes I feel like a stand-up comedian...only my audience laughs at ALL of my jokes :)

- NAPS. All the kids in my care nap from 12:30 pm to 3:30 pm ...and they love naptime. Now this gives me lots of time to BLOG!

- Watching them grow and learn.

- Celebrating their accomplishments however small they may be.

- Seeing the fruit of what I've sown into them.

- Feedback. There is nothing quite like feedback from the parents. One morning this week a parent of one my little girls told me that on their way over, their daughter said, "are we going to Tracy's house?" and when the parents said yes, she said "yayyyyyyyyyyyy!!!" When I heard that it really made me feel good.

- Giving these children a comfortable, safe, healthy, fun and loving environment makes me glow. Who needs makeup?

Love,
Tracy

Happy Birthday Amber-Lee!

2006-10-23T18:00:00.000-04:00

Ten years ago, our family was blessed with a beautiful little girl - my niece - Amber-Lee.

I have two sibblings - a brother named Joey, and a sister named Angela. I was about 22 years old when my best friend and sister, Ange, gave birth to Amber-Lee. I instantly fell in love with this beautiful baby. She was the prettiest baby I had ever laid eyes upon and she was what some of us moms call "an angel baby"...loved everyone and was happy and easy going for the most part. I loved her like my own.

When I look at Amber-Lee I wonder where the time went - it seems like just a short while ago she was running around in diapers. Over the years I have watched her blossom into a kind, precious, thoughtful and beautiful child of God.

I love you so much Amber-Lee and you will always hold an extra special place in my heart!

***

Amber-Lee Rose's Favourite Things:

Colour: Ice blue
Movie: Highschool Musical, Grease
Music: Kelly Clarkson
Food: Pizza
Drink: Coke
Desert: Chocolate rolo ice cream
Talents: Singing
Animal Fetish: Monkeys!!!
Passions: Playing soccer, Bratz Dolls, fashion and clothes, shopping, stuffed animals, singing, reading, camouflage
Best Friends: Leah & Jessica
Dream: To meet Zack from the movie Highschool Musical...and to become a singer and be in a movie like Highschool Musical.

A little something not many people know about Amber-Lee: Amber-Lee was saying words like apple, duckie and Elmo clearly by 8 months of age, by a year old she knew many words, and by one and a half years old, Mike and Ange could hold a conversation with her. She's a smart little cookie!

Love,

Your Auntie Tracy

What is Joy?

2006-10-23T08:14:00.000-04:00

Joy is more than happiness. The word happiness comes from the root hap which means "chance." Where happiness is circumstantial, Joy is not. Joy is an unshakable confidence in the truths of God, despite circumstances...despite circumstances! When our children see an unshakable confidence in the life of one who knows God personally, they are impressed and drawn to know him themselves.

The Joy of the Lord is my strength today!

You Have Searched Me and You Know Me

2006-10-22T14:52:00.000-04:00

"For you created me in my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and
wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be."
Psalms 139: 13-16

Imagine how much God loves us? Despite whether or not our parents "planned" our birth, there is such peace in knowing that God planned your birth, and he planned my birth. He knows everything about you and I. He knows our thoughts, our struggles, our future - he knows it all! Sometimes I feel like I am alone in my own little world. I often feel like nobody really understands me or knows me. I feel like I cannot let people into my world. I do feel alone sometimes, but I know that I am never alone. I know that God cares about me and loves me just the way that I am - the way that he made me - flaws and all. He knows me. Even when we feel alone, like nobody really cares or loves us, God has laid his hand upon us. He will never leave us alone.

"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me; your right hand will hold me fast." Psalm 139: 7-10

I thank you God that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Thank you for never leaving me alone...and for your perfect love. There is no one else like you, Lord.

Perfection When It's Not So Perfect

2006-10-21T21:23:00.000-04:00

Two Thursdays ago I realized that it was the day before the Curious George colouring contest on CBC Kids. The boys sort of wanted to be in the contest, but I REALLY wanted them to be. For those who know me, I just love winning - especially when there is a prize involved :) . So I tried to get the kids all excited about the contest, "yay yay"...Ty was excited with me and right away he started drawing a picture of Curious George...and then he coloured another picture of Curious George. Meanwhile, Ethan was sitting on the couch watching TV. I kept asking Ethan to draw his picture and told him that we were going to run out of time. My plan was to get it mailed out by 9:00 a.m. so that it would hopefully get to CBC by the following day. So finally Ethan dragged himself to the table and started scribbling. I was sitting right there watching him like a hawk. You see, normally Ethan is this boy who takes pride in his drawings - he likes his pictures to be perrrrrrrrfect! I was giving him this look like, "what's that?" Then I told him, "look Ethan, if you don't want to do this then just say so!" (hoping he wouldn't say "I don't" and walk away) I gave him a new piece of paper. So the whole time, as he is colouring this picture, I was watching him and even trying to choose the right colours for him and tell him where to put his balloons. Poor kid. I felt a sense of disappointment as he was colouring. His drawing wasn't good enough for me - for this contest. I wanted it to be perfect. I started judging his colouring and comparing it to Ty's. I could see that Ty put a good effort into his drawing...in fact, I wondered how it could be that Ty's drawing looked even better than Ethan's (who is 21 months older).

So he finally completed his drawing...and we were able to mail them out. But I couldn't stop thinking about how silly I was behaving. I was making such a big deal out of of this whole colouring contest - at Ethan's expense.

I later apologized to Ethan. Forgiveness is not always easy to ask or give. Saying "sorry" to our children can be difficult. We want to appear perfect in their eyes. But showing that we are imperfect will help our children accept that they are also imperfect. When we model forgiveness, compassion and acceptance for our children, they will learn how to willingly accept, generously give and graciously forgive - a perfect way to handle imperfection.

This whole ordeal also made me think about the gentleness and gracefulness of God. God does not demand perfection from us. He lets us make mistakes, and through those mistakes we learn (although sometimes it may take a few times). I don't ever want my boys to feel like they have to do things perfectly, and I don't ever want them to feel like I never make mistakes. Not one of us is perfect; we are only made perfect in Christ.

Philippians 3:12

Question

2006-10-17T18:45:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking about the last post I wrote "Thanks God". I have a question for you. How would YOU feel as a parent if your child was in my care and you read my last post...talking about how I don't exactly love what I'm doing, and when it gets to be too much I even feel like I hate it.

Please be completely honest - I love honesty...even if it's brutal.

Thanks!

Love,
Tracy

Thanks God

2006-10-16T14:11:00.000-04:00

I'm so I'm blessed to have this time to myself right now. Today has been a rough day. My mom called today and asked me how I was doing and I told her that I hated doing daycare. I think back to just a few years ago when I was approaching the end of my Maternity Leave. Ethan was almost a year old and it was time for me to return to Corrections Canada. Just the thought of returning to work and leaving Ethan with someone else put me to tears. I was in a perpetual state of distress - knots in my stomach - no peace. It's all I could think about. I prayed and begged for God to make a way for me to stay home with Ethan. But the time came, and I had to return to work. Although we were incredibly blessed to have Ethan taken care of by his nanny - my mother in law - it still felt like my heart was being ripped out. For as long as I can remember, I always imagined that I would be able to raise our children at home and I was so angry that I wasn't able to do so. So I got pregnant really fast - I thought, the sooner I get pregnant, the sooner I go back on Mat Leave. So about 8 months after I returned to work, I was off on Maternity Leave again. I was thrilled! So happy - off for a whole year with both my boys. A couple of months before my Mat Leave was about finished, that knot in my stomach returned. I was still praying and litterally begging God to make a way for me to stay home with my boys. We decided to move out of our condo into a bigger home in Orleans. And this is when I began my journey as a daycare provider. I was so excited and felt so blessed to have this opportunity to be home with the boys...and I was so thankful that my prayers were answered.

So now here I am, about one and half years later...home with my children...and pulling my hair out! The only thing that keeps me grounded is God. I can never forget how I felt when I had to drop Ethan off every morning at his Grandma's house. That helpless feeling...and all the tears, ah! I love being home with my boys - I love being here for them and I wouldn't have it any other way, but this is hard work! I didn't know it at the time, but this is a sacrifice - a huge sacrifice. This is probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. It truly is. That is, looking after other people's children. I will just leave it at that.

So here I am at home. I don't exactly love what I'm doing...and when it gets to be too much, I even feel like I hate it. I think to myself, why would God put me here if I dislike this so much? Why is this soooooooo hard?

The first thing that I need to do - and that I always seem to forget when things get hard - is Thank God. In my heart I need to thank Him. I thank Him for blessing me, I thank Him that I am home with my children. Secondly, I need to be really mindful of my thoughts. Our thoughts have so much power! When I go through my day telling myself how much I hate doing what I'm doing - there is power in that. Children will act according to our mindset. It is much easier to align ourselves with negative thinking. This is something that I, personally, need to do constantly throughout my day - discipline my thinking. You see, I am really doing this for God. He's who I'm working for. I need to back up and recommit what I'm doing unto the Lord, and He will change my mindset and give me His presence. I choose to love and look after these children as if I'm doing so unto the Lord. If Jesus was sitting here with us throughout our day, how would I act?

When I discipline my thinking, my whole perspective changes and all of a sudden I feel like, hey this is not so bad? I could do this for another few years - no problem. Then tomorrow comes...and I start all over again :)

Love,
Tracy

My Friend...

2006-10-15T16:35:00.000-04:00

This is Lori...
She is my Beautiful, Wonderful, Inspirational, FUNNY, and BEST e-mail Friend! There is no one like Lori. I love her very much and I cherish our friendship.

She has a great blog that I read everyday- You can check out here.

THE McPICS

I Dare You to Smile!

2006-10-12T11:57:00.000-04:00

This is a little something that I read in my Mom's Devotional today.

A Mom's Version of 1 Corinthians 13

Though I lecture and harp at my children and have not love, I will be a background noise to rebellious thoughts.
And though I wisely warn them not to use to street as a playground, or they'll be killed; and though I patiently explain why snails live in mobile homes, and I give endless answers to life's other mysteries; and though I have faith that can remove mountains of ignorance - yet never hug my children - I have taught nothing.
And thoughI slave over a steaming stove with balanced diets and complicated recipes and even burn my fingers - yet never smile as I serve - I have not really fed them.
A truly loving mother suffers through unfinished sentences, clutter, nicks on furniture, sleepless nights and adolescent insults, and is kind enough to think her kids are the greatest. A loving mother tries not to resent her children for being free like she used to be, and she doesn't brag about how she never talked to her mom that way.
Real love considers a childish nightmare more urgent than her need for sleep; is not shattered by the title "Meanest Mom"; doesn't shame a toddler who breaks training or a teen who still spills milk; steadfastly refuses to entertain visions of escape; and does not smirk as her child trips over a toy he refused to put away (but with silent wisdom rejoices in the effective lessons of experience).
Mother-love has arms strong from lifting, a heart large with believing, a mind stretched with hoping, shoulders soft with enduring, and knees bent with committing.
True mother-love never fails to point her child to the Author of Love.

***

It's 2:00 pm, all the kids are napping and Ethan is off to school. I finally have some time to myself. I needed to read this today. I caught myself today. I caught myself preparing snacks, lunch, tripping over toys, struggling to clean what seems like a bottomless pit of dishes and laundry, wiping snotty noses, poopy bums, spilled drinks and food, unclogging a poopy toilet (not mine!), breaking up fights, asking the kids to do something and them not listening...I caught myself doing these things without a smile on my face - without love. These are not fun things to do in the first place, but when my attitude is not in the right place, these things are almost unbearable. Sometimes when I feel this way I just force myself to smile. It's really hard to force a smile - a real big smile with your eyes - and not feel anything inside. When I do that and the kids see me smile, they instantly smile back at me. Go figure? And then that totally brings out a very real smile on my face. Putting on some happy music has a way of changing my attitude as well. It takes the focus off of me...off of how overloaded or discouraged I am feeling - and brings such a fun and light atmosphere into the room. Like all the kids I know, mine love singing and dancing, but most of all, they LOVE to see their mommy (and Caregiver) smiling.

Take a moment today to just love someone - give them a hug, a simple little smile...because actions always speak so much louder than words.

Little Known Facts About Tracy

2006-10-03T21:26:00.000-04:00

1. MAIDEN NAME? Tracy Hall
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No. My parents thought I was a boy and were going to name me “Jimmy” – Surprise!! When I came out they said I looked like a Tracy. I think they were right.
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? I cried over the weekend. I don’t even remember why…it was that time of the month and I was emotional over something.
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I do, but only when I am not rushing…my handwriting is awful when I am writing quickly.
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE LUNCH MEAT? I don't love lunch meat, but Montreal smoked meat & oven roasted turkey breast is what I would choose.
6. KIDS: 2 boys + 1 step-daughter
7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Yes
8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? I have a journal that I use to write down what I eat each day, the supplements I take, and when I workout. And blogging is my online journal.
9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Not a lot, but I do occasionally.
10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes
11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No way
12. FAVORITE CEREAL? I don't eat cereal, but my favourite is Quaker Harvest Crunch with almond milk – YUM!
13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Rarely
14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? No I'm not very strong physically, but I'm a rough player. I can dish it out, but I can't take it.
15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Well that would depend on my mood. I love vanilla Haggen Dazs bars coated with chocolate and almond pieces
16. SHOE SIZE? 6
17. RED OR PINK? Pink, but Red on Fridays
18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOU? My stomach
19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? I really miss my brother & my family in Florida
20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Sure!
21. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Pink fleece pants & no socks
22. WHAT DID YOU EAT LAST? A bowl of steamed green beans and carrots with melted butter and sea salt.
23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The sound of peace and quiet (all the kids are sleeping)
24. IF YOU WERE A COLOR WHAT WOULD IT BE? White. But I love chocolate brown and neutrals to decorate my house.
25. FAVORITE SMELL? Mmmmm…CHOCOLATE! And I love the smell of fresh linen and burning wood in the fireplace.
26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My sister, Ange
27. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? Mysterious looking, nice smile and cleanliness.
28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Yes, and I really miss you Celine!
29. FAVORITE DRINK? Water. I also love freshly squeezed carrot, apple and lemon juice - YUM! And I like Elderberry/Cranberry Tea, oh and Oolong tea as well.
30. FAVORITE SPORT? The only real sport I play is beach volleyball. I like it. I'm not the best, but it's fun just to get out and play. I love to work out at home.
31. EYE COLOR? Brown
32. HAT SIZE? Small
33. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nope
34. FAVORITE FOOD? I just love pizza! Gabriel's. I also LOVE hummus and Taboulé...delicious!!!!!!!!!!!!
35. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Definitely happy endings
36. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED AT THE CINEMA? The Illusionist
37. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Black
38. SUMMER OR WINTER? The beginning of Summer until it gets too muggy…and allergies start. And I love the first few snowfalls and then I am so ready for Spring.
39. HUGS OR KISSES? Love them both – they remind me of how much I am loved
40. FAVORITE DESSERT? Cheesecake, and also chocolate with almonds…YUM!
41. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Heather, Nat, Lori, Renée, Jodi, Diane, Danielle, Andre
42. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? I’ll have to go with Michelle too! He-he!
43. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? I’m not reading any books right now, but I am always going through my Focus on the family – Baby and Child Care book. And of course my bible.
44. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I don’t have one
45. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? Desperate Housewives
46. FAVORITE SOUNDS? I love the sound of my dad singing and playing his guitar
47. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles if I had to choose
48. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? Hawaii or Mexico…whichever is further away.
49. WHEN & WHERE WERE YOU BORN? December 4, 1973 - Ottawa
50. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO VISIT? BC

Why Are We The Way We Are With One Person But Not Another?

2006-10-03T09:46:00.000-04:00

A little while back I received an e-mail game from a friend where we are supposed to forward it to friends and describe them in one word. I love stuff like that, so I sent it to many friends. I love getting compliments and it's so neat to hear how others perceive you. Some of the different ways that my friends described me were: graceful, funny, caring, loving, quiet and gentle spirit, someone I can count on, beautiful, giving, sweet, quirky, kookie, dork (<- I think that one was a joke). Each of my friends described me differently. Then a strange thing happened. I got an e-mail from another friend who described me as "vague - as in reserved, unclear, confusing personality, hard to read...that kind of vague". I wrote her back right away and asked her if she was serious. I thought she was joking. She was serious. I wrote her back and told her that she makes me that way and that was pretty much how I would describe her too. We came to the conclusion that we are both like that with each other, but not like that with everyone. What I find so interesting, and the question that I would like an answer to is, why are we like that together? Why is it that I am easy going, relaxed and funny around people that have a good sense of humour and are relaxed? Why do reserved people make me feel uneasy? I think that I am shy with people that are more reserved because they are hard to read and you just never know what they are thinking. It's such an eye opener when someone tells you that you make them feel that way too - that you make people feel uneasy. When people are shy or quiet and don't use their words, the people around them have to rely on their body language. I guess sometimes my body language is unclear, reserved, hard to read...and maybe even confusing. So, what do I do with this now? How can I change? I want to be real with people and I want people to see me as who I am. But I would like to have the type of personality that makes people feel comfortable. I don't know if I ever will. Anyway, my friend went on to say "I guess I am only capable of being as open as the person I am talking to". I also feel like that sometimes.

Anyway, I would love to hear some input from people who do not struggle with this - from people who are open and not so reserved. Do you have any suggestions or stories to share? I would also love to hear some input from people are are reserved and quiet, hard to read - and hear what they think about all of this?

Time Is One of The Most Precious Gifts We Can Give to Our Children

2006-09-30T00:22:00.001-04:00

Hi! This is my first entry. I should be sleeping & I'm really tired, but I'm waiting for the washing machine to stop so I can put the clothes in the dryer before I go to sleep. I had a nice day. I had a great day! It's different having Ethan away at school. He goes to school in the afternoons at 1:00 pm, so I'm pretty busy getting my daycare kids to bed, brushing Ethan's teeth, getting him changed, his lunch bag packed, his hair done :) - you know! When he drives away on that big yellow bus, I am left standing there with Ty. My sweet little Ty. And all of a sudden, my quiet and introverted boy becomes quite chatty. I have to say that I just love what is happening between Titus and I. When Ethan was home, Ty shared me with his big brother. Ty would go for his nap and Ethan would stay downstairs and rest on the couch watching TV or something & we would hang out and talk or whatever. When Ethan first left for school, everything in me wanted to just hurry up and get Ty down for a nap so that I could FINALLY have some time for myself. But instead I gave my time to Ty. So as soon as Ethan leaves, Titus and I have some special time together. We don't really do all that much. We walk over to the mailbox together, then Ty has a little drink and a small snack or something and we just talk. Ty talks and talks and talks. We talk about all kinds of things that are important to him...we sing and laugh - everyday is different. We just hang out. I love it! I love it, I love it, I love it! I can see how much this is affecting Ty. We have become closer and he feels so special. I have learned that "our time" is one of the most precious gifts that we can give to our children. Ty feels important. He knows that he is getting my undivided attention and he feels special. And I still have time to myself after Ty crawls into his bed for a little nap at 1:30.

Above is a picture that I took of Ty during our special time together this afternoon, as well as a picture of Ethan on his very first day of school! I love my boys so, so much!